


A Kiss Is Still a Kiss

by BritHistorian



Category: Weki Meki (Band)
Genre: F/F, Fake/Pretend Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-10
Updated: 2019-08-28
Packaged: 2020-02-29 18:05:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 23,830
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18783382
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BritHistorian/pseuds/BritHistorian
Summary: Yoojung's got a thing for Sei.  But Sei's straight.  But it's not as simple as that:  It's three days until Weki Meki's next comeback and there's no way Yoojung can go through it with a broken heart.  Can Sei bury her true feelings and pretend to be Yoojung's girlfriend until after the promotions are over?  And what will happen after that?





	1. A Sigh Is Just a Sigh

Yoojung lay on her bed, a smile on her face.  Suyeon came in and sat down on the edge of the bed.

"You look happy," Suyeon said.

Yoojung looked over at her leader.  "I really am," she said.

Suyeon looked thoughtful.  "So you finally got up the nerve to tell Sei how you feel about her?"

Yoojung looked out the window, not answering for a moment.  Then she turned back to Suyeon, her smile now missing.  "Sort of," she said.  She paused.  "But. . . not really I suppose.  Kind of.  Maybe."

Suyeon looked dubious.  "How do you 'kind of' tell someone how you feel about them?" she asked.  "Either you told her or you didn't."

"Well. . ." Yoojung said, looking away.  "It's sort of like this:  Sei and I were fooling around on Twitter, posting some pics for the Key-lings, and our faces were really close together, like really, really close.  So I leaned over and kissed her."

"What did she say?" Suyeon asked.

"She said she had some things to do before the comeback," Yoojung said.  "This was just about 5 minutes ago."

Suyeon shook her head.  "Yoojung, this is bad.  You can't just kiss people like that."

Yoojung shook her head.  "It was just a kiss on the cheek," she said, "and Sei already knows how I feel about her. . ."

Suyeon's head-shaking grew more vigorous.  "No, Yoojung, I don't think she does."

Yoojung looked confused.  Suyeon went on:  "You've got to remember, Sei's younger than you-"

"Not that much younger," Yoojung interrupted.

"Younger enough," Suyeon insisted, "and her parents kept her sheltered.  I bet she's never even considered the possibility that you're gay."

Yoojung scoffed.  "She's got to know.  My gayness is the worst-kept secret in all of Fantagio, possibly in all of K-pop."

"But Sei doesn't believe it," Suyeon said.  "I've heard her talking to people, 'defending' you.  She's said 'Those are just rumors.  Yoojung's not gay, she's just very affectionate.'"

Yoojung covered her face, shaking her head from side to side.  After several seconds of this, she looked up.  "So that's how it is?  The girl of my dreams is totally clueless?"

Suyeon smiled indulgently at Yoojung.  "She's sweet, and innocent, and apparently sheltered more than is good for her.  And those are things you love about her."

Yoojung looked up at the ceiling and sighed.  "I do love her, and I can handle being her first, but I'm not prepared for her to not even understand what's going on.  That's not a situation that anyone is prepared for."

Suyeon laid her hand on Yoojung's shoulder.  "Let me see what I can do."  She got up and headed toward the door, hoping that this could be easily resolved and thinking that it was the last thing she needed 3 days before a comeback.  She was reaching for the doorknob when she heard Yoojung behind her.

"Suyeon," Yoojung said quietly, her smile a weak echo of its earlier appearance, "thanks.  If anyone can fix this, you can."

"I'll do what I can," Suyeon said, "but no promises."

Yoojung nodded.

* * *

The first thing to do, Suyeon thought as she walked out into the living room, was to see the picture on Twitter.  She pulled out her phone and opened the Weki Meki Twitter account.  A couple of flicks of her thumb and the relevant picture was on her screen.  Yoojung was kissing Sei.  Sei was looking sad.  What's this?  One of Sei's fingernails has a rainbow design on it.  Does she even know what that means?  Suyeon wondered.  She downloaded the picture to her phone, then deleted the post.

She walked to Sei's room, but found only Lua and Rina there.

"Do you know where Sei is?" Suyeon asked.

They both shook their heads.  "I saw her a little while ago," Rina said.  "She said she was going to go ride her bike."

"OK, thanks." Suyeon said.  "If you see her, tell her I'm looking for her."

Suyeon grabbed her book and went downstairs, figuring if she sat by the bike rack and read, she'd be sure to catch Sei before she went into the apartment.

* * *

As it happened, Suyeon's plan worked out.  In fact, she'd only been reading for about 20 minutes when Sei showed up.  Suyeon closed her book as Sei locked her bike.  "Sei!" she called out.

Sei looked up at her.  "Hi Suyeon!  Isn't it a beautiful day?"

Suyeon nodded.  "It is.  Let's go for a walk."

"I don't feel like a walk," Sei said, "I just got back from a bike ride.  My legs are tired."

"Then we'll walk slowly and won't go very far," Suyeon said.  "I've got something I need to talk to you about, and it'd be better to do it without an audience."

Sei nodded, suddenly serious, and fell into step beside her leader.  "What's up, Suyeon?  Haven't I been doing a good job on the promos for the comeback?"

"Oh, yeah," Suyeon said, "you've been doing a great job with that.  Really great!  No, that's not it at all.  I needed to talk to you about this."  She held out her phone to show Sei the picture of Yoojung kissing her.

"Oh.  That."  Sei's smile had vanished.  Her posture had stiffened.  "Yeah, that's why I went for a bike ride.  I've got to figure out what to do about that.  I should probaby take that post down, for one thing."

"I already did," Suyeon said.  "That was a copy I saved on my phone."

"Thanks for that," Sei said.  "Now all I've got to do is figure out what to do about Yoojung."

Suyeon wasn't listening - she was planning what she wanted to say next.  "What we need to do now if figure out what to do about Yoojung," she said.

"That's what I just said," Sei responded, smirking.

Suyeon shook her head.  "Oh, yeah.  I guess you did."  Suyeon did a double-take.  "So you know what's going on?"

Sei rolled her eyes.  "I'm straight, I'm not stupid."  She held up her rainbow-striped fingernail to Suyeon.  "I know how Yoojung feels about me."

"You see, the thing is -" Suyeon stopped short.  "You know?"

Sei nodded.  "And that's why we've got a problem - Yoojung's no good at hiding her feelings.  If I tell her I'm not interested, she'll be obviously depressed during the comeback.  It could ruin the whole thing."

Suyeon looked at Sei, impressed with her sudden demonstration of insightfulness.

"That's why I went for a bike ride.  It kept me away from Yoojung and it gave me a chance to think things over and try to figure out what to do."

"And what did you figure out?" Suyeon asked.

Sei took a deep breath and let it out slowly.  "Since I can't tell Yoojung before the comeback, the only thing for me to do is pretend to be interested in her, then break up with her after this round of promotions ends."

"You really think you can do that?" Suyeon asked.  "It's going to be totally different from playing fan service.  Instead of being on when we're in public and then getting to turn it off when we're in private, you'll have to pretend to turn it off when we're in public, but always be totally on when we're in private."

Sei nodded.  "I know.  If you got another idea, I'd love to hear it, because I can't say I'm looking forward to this, but I can't think of anything else."

Suyeon walked on in silence for a few steps.  "Me either.  I had hoped that if you and I talked we'd be able to come up with something, but I'm drawing a blank too."

Sei stopped and looked back toward the dorm.  "We'd better get back then.  My. . . girlfriend. . . will be wondering what happened to me."

Yoojung lay on her bed, a smile on her face.  Suyeon came in and sat down on the edge of the bed.

"You look happy," Suyeon said.

Yoojung looked over at her leader.  "I really am," she said.

Suyeon looked thoughtful.  "So you finally got up the nerve to tell Sei how you feel about her?"

Yoojung looked out the window, not answering for a moment.  Then she turned back to Suyeon, her smile now missing.  "Sort of," she said.  She paused.  "But. . . not really I suppose.  Kind of.  Maybe."

Suyeon looked dubious.  "How do you 'kind of' tell someone how you feel about them?" she asked.  "Either you told her or you didn't."

"Well. . ." Yoojung said, looking away.  "It's sort of like this:  Sei and I were fooling around on Twitter, posting some pics for the Key-lings, and our faces were really close together, like really, really close.  So I leaned over and kissed her."

"What did she say?" Suyeon asked.

"She said she had some things to do before the comeback," Yoojung said.  "This was just about 5 minutes ago."

Suyeon shook her head.  "Yoojung, this is bad.  You can't just kiss people like that."

Yoojung shook her head.  "It was just a kiss on the cheek," she said, "and Sei already knows how I feel about her. . ."

Suyeon's head-shaking grew more vigorous.  "No, Yoojung, I don't think she does."

Yoojung looked confused.  Suyeon went on:  "You've got to remember, Sei's younger than you-"

"Not that much younger," Yoojung interrupted.

"Younger enough," Suyeon insisted, "and her parents kept her sheltered.  I bet she's never even considered the possibility that you're gay."

Yoojung scoffed.  "She's got to know.  My gayness is the worst-kept secret in all of Fantagio, possibly in all of K-pop."

"But Sei doesn't believe it," Suyeon said.  "I've heard her talking to people, 'defending' you.  She's said 'Those are just rumors.  Yoojung's not gay, she's just very affectionate.'"

Yoojung covered her face, shaking her head from side to side.  After several seconds of this, she looked up.  "So that's how it is?  The girl of my dreams is totally clueless?"

Suyeon smiled indulgently at Yoojung.  "She's sweet, and innocent, and apparently sheltered more than is good for her.  And those are things you love about her."

Yoojung looked up at the ceiling and sighed.  "I do love her, and I can handle being her first, but I'm not prepared for her to not even understand what's going on.  That's not a situation that anyone is prepared for."

Suyeon laid her hand on Yoojung's shoulder.  "Let me see what I can do."  She got up and headed toward the door, hoping that this could be easily resolved and thinking that it was the last thing she needed 3 days before a comeback.  She was reaching for the doorknob when she heard Yoojung behind her.

"Suyeon," Yoojung said quietly, her smile a weak echo of its earlier appearance, "thanks.  If anyone can fix this, you can."

"I'll do what I can," Suyeon said, "but no promises."

Yoojung nodded.

* * *

The first thing to do, Suyeon thought as she walked out into the living room, was to see the picture on Twitter.  She pulled out her phone and opened the Weki Meki Twitter account.  A couple of flicks of her thumb and the relevant picture was on her screen.  Yoojung was kissing Sei.  Sei was looking sad.  What's this?  One of Sei's fingernails has a rainbow design on it.  Does she even know what that means?  Suyeon wondered.  She downloaded the picture to her phone, then deleted the post.

She walked to Sei's room, but found only Lua and Rina there.

"Do you know where Sei is?" Suyeon asked.

They both shook their heads.  "I saw her a little while ago," Rina said.  "She said she was going to go ride her bike."

"OK, thanks." Suyeon said.  "If you see her, tell her I'm looking for her."

Suyeon grabbed her book and went downstairs, figuring if she sat by the bike rack and read, she'd be sure to catch Sei before she went into the apartment.

* * *

As it happened, Suyeon's plan worked out.  In fact, she'd only been reading for about 20 minutes when Sei showed up.  Suyeon closed her book as Sei locked her bike.  "Sei!" she called out.

Sei looked up at her.  "Hi Suyeon!  Isn't it a beautiful day?"

Suyeon nodded.  "It is.  Let's go for a walk."

"I don't feel like a walk," Sei said, "I just got back from a bike ride.  My legs are tired."

"Then we'll walk slowly and won't go very far," Suyeon said.  "I've got something I need to talk to you about, and it'd be better to do it without an audience."

Sei nodded, suddenly serious, and fell into step beside her leader.  "What's up, Suyeon?  Haven't I been doing a good job on the promos for the comeback?"

"Oh, yeah," Suyeon said, "you've been doing a great job with that.  Really great!  No, that's not it at all.  I needed to talk to you about this."  She held out her phone to show Sei the picture of Yoojung kissing her.

"Oh.  That."  Sei's smile had vanished.  Her posture had stiffened.  "Yeah, that's why I went for a bike ride.  I've got to figure out what to do about that.  I should probaby take that post down, for one thing."

"I already did," Suyeon said.  "That was a copy I saved on my phone."

"Thanks for that," Sei said.  "Now all I've got to do is figure out what to do about Yoojung."

Suyeon wasn't listening - she was planning what she wanted to say next.  "What we need to do now if figure out what to do about Yoojung," she said.

"That's what I just said," Sei responded, smirking.

Suyeon shook her head.  "Oh, yeah.  I guess you did."  Suyeon did a double-take.  "So you know what's going on?"

Sei rolled her eyes.  "I'm straight, I'm not stupid."  She held up her rainbow-striped fingernail to Suyeon.  "I know how Yoojung feels about me."

"You see, the thing is -" Suyeon stopped short.  "You know?"

Sei nodded.  "And that's why we've got a problem - Yoojung's no good at hiding her feelings.  If I tell her I'm not interested, she'll be obviously depressed during the comeback.  It could ruin the whole thing."

Suyeon looked at Sei, impressed with her sudden demonstration of insightfulness.

"That's why I went for a bike ride.  It kept me away from Yoojung and it gave me a chance to think things over and try to figure out what to do."

"And what did you figure out?" Suyeon asked.

Sei took a deep breath and let it out slowly.  "Since I can't tell Yoojung before the comeback, the only thing for me to do is pretend to be interested in her, then break up with her after this round of promotions ends."

"You really think you can do that?" Suyeon asked.  "It's going to be totally different from playing fan service.  Instead of being on when we're in public and then getting to turn it off when we're in private, you'll have to pretend to turn it off when we're in public, but always be totally on when we're in private."

Sei nodded.  "I know.  If you got another idea, I'd love to hear it, because I can't say I'm looking forward to this, but I can't think of anything else."

Suyeon walked on in silence for a few steps.  "Me either.  I had hoped that if you and I talked we'd be able to come up with something, but I'm drawing a blank too."

Sei stopped and looked back toward the dorm.  "We'd better get back then.  My. . . girlfriend. . . will be wondering what happened to me."


	2. The Fundamental Things Apply

"So that's why we came to you." Suyeon was just finishing Elly about the situation with Yoojung and Sei, and what they were planning to do about it.

"And you're sure this is how you want to handle it?" Elly asked, looking skeptically from Sei to Suyeon and back again.

"Unless you've got a better idea," Sei said hopefully.

Elly was forced to admit that she didn't have a better idea.

"So you'll help us?" Suyeon asked.

Elly sighed dramatically.  "I don't really see that I've got any choice.  If I don't help you and you screw it up, I'll feel responsible."

"Okay then," Sei said, sitting up straight.  "Teach me everything there is to know about being a lesbian."

"Yeah, it's a good thing you came to me," Elly said, "because someone else might take you up on that.  But you don't need to know everything.  In fact, the less you know, the better.  This is supposed to be your first girlfriend.  You're supposed to be an innocent babydyke."

"So what do I need to know?" Sei asked.  "Surely there's something?"

Elly sat down on the bed next to Sei.  She ran her hand down Sei's thigh, noting the younger girl's reaction.  "You've got to learn not to cringe when another girl touches you.  If you're not able to at least fake enjoying it, Yoojung will know, she'll start wondering what's wrong, and then the whole thing will blow up in your face."

"Okay.  Let's try again."  Sei took a deep breath, shook all the tension out of her body, and waited for Elly to touch her again.

"Close your eyes," Elly said.

Sei just barely closed her eyes.  There was still a slit of light visible, so she could see Elly move.

"All the way," Elly said.  "If you're not going to cooperate, there's no point in me doing this."

Sei closed her eyes the rest of the way.  She sat there in the darkness and waited.  Suddenly her eyes flew open against her will and she gasped - Elly had run her fingers up her inner thigh!

Elly laughed.  "Yeah, we're gonna have to work on that startle response.  Close your eyes."

"Wouldn't it be better with my eyes open, so I can see what you're about to do?" Sei asked hopefully.

Elly raised an eyebrow.  "Are you planning on always making out with Yoojung in a brightly lit room?"  Silence from Sei.  "Did you always make out with your last boyfriend in a brightly lit room?"  More silence.  "Then shut your eyes."

Sei shut her eyes and waited patiently.  She concentrated on keeping her breathing smooth and even, not reacting when Elly touched her.  

"Pretend it's a guy, if that helps," Elly said.

Sei tried imagining that she was in a room with one of the guys from Super Junior.  She pictured Ryeowook sitting on the bed next to her.  As he leaned toward her, she felt her core warming up.  She felt a hand on her ribcage, just below her breast.  She leaned into it, picturing Ryeowook putting his hand on her.

"Much better!" 

Sei's eyes flew open at the sound of Elly's voice.  She looked down and saw Elly's hand on her chest.

"I did it!"  Sei took a deep breath.  

"Now close your eyes again," Elly said.  

Sei closed her eyes, again conjuring up her image of Ryeowook.  Suddenly she felt lips on her lips.  She shuddered, but didn't pull away.  The other mouth latched on to her bottom lip, sucking it gently, then released it and kissed her again.  Suddenly she felt a tongue about to enter her mouth!  She jerked back and opened her eyes, shaking her head.  "It just feels wrong," she said.  "I can't do it."

Elly looked disapprovingly at Sei.  "If you can't handle that, then you'd better give up right now.  Remember:  Yoojung and I used to date, so I know what she's like.  She's very touchy-feely - addicted to touch.  Anytime we're out of public view, you'll have at least her hand on you, if not more."

"But-" Sei sputtered.  "Does it have to start there?  Kissing with tongue?"

Elly rolled her eyes.  "You can try the nervous and inexperienced first-timer thing at first, but if she hasn't gotten her tongue inside your mouth within a week, she'll wonder what's wrong, then she'll redouble her efforts."

Sei sat up straight, her eyes glinting with determination.  "I'll do this.  I'll play shy and bashful at first, if you'll work to get me ready to move on.  I just - we just - there's no way she'll be able to go through the comeback if I break her heart now.  I can do this." She paused for a second then looked at Suyeon and Elly.  "Do you think we're doing the right thing?  I mean, it's going to break her heart when I break up with her anyway.  Should we be doing this?"

Suyeon shrugged.  "I don't know.  We're in a situation, and we don't really have any good options.  You'll just have to try to break her heart as gently as you can, and the rest of us will try to help her glue it back together again."

Sei looked unconvinced.  "Am I still going to be able to be in a band with her after this?"

"Remember when she and I broke up?" Elly asked.  "We couldn't talk to each other for weeks, but we still played around and did skinships when we were out in public, and now we're friends again.  I'd never date her again, but she's a good friend."

Sei looked down just in time to see Elly grab her thigh.  She looked up just in time for Elly to capture her mouth.  Sei closed her eyes, trying to enjoy the kiss - or at least act like she was enjoying it.  When Elly's tongue made its way into her mouth, she sucked gently on it, then responded with her own tongue.  Before Sei knew what was happening, she and Elly were making out on the bed, Elly's hand staying on her thigh.  Finally, Elly pulled back.

"Much better.  If you can kiss her like that every time, we're golden.  But you've got to touch her more.  Put your hands on her."

Sei nodded.  "This would be so much easier if I wasn't straight."

Elly laughed.  "Yeah.  If you weren't straight, you and Yoojung would make a great couple.  But in the meantime, we work with what we've got." 

* * *

It was Sei's turn to wash the dishes, so she ended up staying in the kitchen alone after everyone else had finished eating and left.  When she came out into the common room, she saw that her members were clustered around the TV, watching a basketball game.  Elly noticed Sei coming into the room.  Making sure she had Sei's attention, she pointed with her eyes to an empty space next to Yoojung.  Sei gulped, nodded, and moved toward the space.  She sat down and Yoojung put her arm around her.  Sei kept inwardly repeating "It's just skinships.  It's just skinships." and managed to keep herself calm.

When a commercial break came, Sei turned to Yoojung and asked "Who's winning?"

"Seoul SK is totally demolishing Busan!" Yoojung said, her excitement written all over her face.

No wonder everyone had been loud enough for Sei to hear them in the kitchen over the water running - except for Doyeon, who kept her hometown loyalties and so cheered for Wonju DB Promy, Weki Meki were all Seoul SK fans.  Suyeon and Rina had even put on team jerseys to watch the game - and of course, Sei thought with a grin, Rina owned both the red home jersey and the white away jersey, so she could always match the team.  Just then the game started up again and everyone's attention turned back to it.  Sei spent most of her time just learning the players - she wasn't as big of a fan as Suyeon and Rina, and hadn't really been able to keep up with the team since before she became a trainee.  Back then she had had such a crush on the forward, Lee Dong-Jun.  "Hell, I still wouldn't kick him out of bed," she thought.  Of course, her thoughts turned to the fact that soon it would be Yoojung in her bed, and her stomach started to churn.  "It's just skinships!  It's just skinships!" she frantically repeated in her head, managing to calm herself down a little.  But Yoojung just happened to look over a Sei just then.

"Sei!  You're all pale," Yoojung said, her alarm evident on her face.  "You must have overdid it on your bike ride today, and we've got promos tomorrow.  I'm putting you to bed right now."

"But what about the game?" Sei protested. 

Yoojung scoffed.  "The game as been decided since before we finished dinner.  We're just watching to see how badly the Knights beat Busan.  Right now you look like you need the sleep more."

Looking over Yoojung's shoulder, Sei saw Elly and Suyeon shrug, so figured she'd better go along with it.

"I guess I am kind of tired," Sei said, standing up and making a show of stretching and yawning.  She let Yoojung lead her to the bathroom and even let Yoojung help with her nighttime skin care routine.  Then Sei and Yoojung went to the room they shared with Doyeon.  Yoojung went into Sei's dresser and got out her favorite purple pajamas - leave it to Yoojung to know her favorites! - and helped her get dressed.  Sei climbed into her bed and let Yoojung pull her blankets up to her neck.  After a moment of chewing her lip indecisively, Yoojung quickly leaned down and kissed Sei on the cheek.

"Good night!" Yoojoung chirped as she turned off the light and left Sei alone in the bedroom.

Sei lay in bed quietly, pondering how she had gotten into this mess and how she was going to get out of it.  The worst was going to be when she told Yoojung the truth and they broke up - Sei liked making people happy, and hated it when anyone was mad at her.  Of course, she thought, it could be she was only saying that part would be the worst because Yoojung hadn't made a play to get into her pants yet.

Sei was asleep when Yoojung came to bed an hour or so later, but evidently her sleep had been troubled - she was twisted up in the blankets and her bangs were plastered to her forehead with sweat.  Yoojung helped her get untangled, covered her up again, then kissed her softly on the lips and whispered "Good night, sweet Sei.  I love you so much" before climbing into her own bed. 


	3. As Time Goes By

Sei woke up before anyone else.  She looked around the room and saw Doyeon and Yoojung were both still asleep.  Yoojung looked even cuter asleep than she did awake, her lips curving up in a sweet smile.

"If I was gay," Sei thought to herself, "I could totally go for Yoojung."  But that was the problem - Sei was very much not gay.  She could do skinships with her members when she had to, but given a choice she'd take guys, 100% of the time.

"How do I even get into situations like this?" Sei wondered as she got up and got dressed.  She quietly left her room and was on her way to the kitchen when Elly grabbed her and pulled her into the unnies' room and shut the door behind her.  Before Sei fully realized what had happened, Elly had her arms wrapped around her and was passionately kissing her.  Sei shuddered for a moment and tried to push Elly away, then remembered what was happening and what she needed to do.  She stopped struggling and started returning Elly's kisses.  After several kisses, she remembered she was supposed to be using her hands as well and wrapped her arms around Elly.  After several minutes of this, Elly released Sei and looked at her appraisingly.

"Not much better than yesterday," she said quietly.  "I give you a C-minus, and only raised it that far because you eventually remembered to use your hands."  

C-minus!  Sei began to protest at the unfairness of this.  "I wasn't ready!  You took me by surprise!"

"What, and you think Yoojung's not going to take you by surprise?"  Elly raised an eyebrow and smirked at Sei.  "Still, once you got started, you were doing pretty good.  If Yoojung doesn't watch out, I'm going to try to steal you from her."

Sei looked confused.  "Unnie, you do remember that I'm just pretending to be gay, don't you?"

Elly smiled mysteriously at her.  "You say that," she said, "but I think there's a bit of gay inside everyone, it's just a matter of finding it and bringing it out."

Sei shook her head.  "I really don't think there is.  I really think I'm totally straight."

"We'll see," Elly said, reaching out and patting Sei on the cheek.  "Anyway, go get yourself some breakfast.  I've got to get caught up on my share of the fanmail.  See you at dance practice!"

As Sei waited for water to boil for tea, she worried.  Was she going to have to deal with two unnies with crushes on her now?

 

* * *

 

This started a new pattern that went on for the next couple of days:  At practically any moment, Elly - and later Suyeon as well - would grab Sei, pull her into a secluded area, and start making out with her.  By the first afternoon, Sei had reached a level of nervousness bordering of paranoia.  But this alertness paid off:  By the first evening, she'd managed to adapt so that her first response was no longer to struggle, but instead to lean in to the affectionate assault.  The second afternoon, after a particularly heated bout of making out in a supply closet at Fantagio headquarters, Elly awarded Sei a coveted grade of A.  "Well, A-minus," she amended.  "It would have been an A, but you flinched when I put my hand on your hip."  Sei considered the flinch to be a perfectly natural reaction to being grabbed from behind and yanked into a closet.  But she wasn't going to argue about it - as far as she was concerned, that A-minus was just as good as a a win on a music show.

Music shows were the other thing on Sei's mind over the course of those days.  Weki Meki were getting ready for their next comeback, and the last few days leading up to a comeback were always particularly hectic:  Appointments with hair stylists and makeup artists.  Fittings for new clothes.  Last-minute dance practices.  Media training drills.  At the end of each night, Sei was only too ready to let Yoojung tuck her into bed.

Yes, every night Yoojung helped Sei with her skin care regimen, then dressed her in her pajamas and put her to bed.  Besides enjoying the attention, Sei had subconsciously noted something else:  Whenever she was around Yoojung, she was safe from Elly or Suyeon grabbing her and trying to make out with her.  In fact, she didn't even mind the little bedtime kisses that Yoojung had started giving her before bed, though she always kept Elly's warnings in mind and a small part of her mind was wondering when Yoojung might want more.  For now, though, it was just cute little pecks on the lips, which didn't really bother her - it was only a small step up from what she was expected to do when doing skinships.

 

* * *

 

The night before the debut, Yoojung had tucked Sei into bed, but being rather preoccupied with the upcoming day, she forgot to give her a kiss.

"Unnie," Sei said without thinking about it, "you forgot my kiss!"

Yoojung stopped halfway to the door and turned around.  "That's will never do," she said with a smile.  She turned and came to stand beside Sei's bed.  She leaned down and kissed Sei.  Without consciously thinking about it, Sei fell into the patterns that Elly and Suyeon had been training her in:  Kisses were to be returned, preferably with some other contact with the person being kissed.  That's how Yoojung's usual single nighttime kiss turned into half a dozen kisses, with Sei's arms wrapped around her.

"Wow!" Yoojung said after Sei had let her go.  "That was nice!  Way to make sure I don't forget your bedtime kisses!"  With a wink and a smile, she finished telling Sei good night and then went out to the common room to hang out with the other unnies.

Sei laid there awake for a while, still feeling the impression of Yoojung's kisses on her lips.  Yoojung's scent clung to her, filling her every breath.  "What's going on?" she wondered to herself.  "Is Elly right?  Is there really a gay person inside everyone and it just takes the right conditions to bring them out?"  She scoffed.  "That's ridiculous.  I know I'm straight."  But she wasn't able to silence the small part of her mind that kept wondering why she hadn't been happy for Yoojung to forget to kiss her, if she was so straight.

 

* * *

 

The next day's debut went great.  And somehow even with all the performances, interviews, photo sessions, and other parts of the comeback, Suyeon and Elly still found time to take Sei by surprise and make out with her.  In fact, there was a period of time during the afternoon when Doyeon and Yoojung were in an interview; it would have been the perfect time for Elly or Suyeon to train her some more, yet neither one did.  Even so, she spent the whole time being nervous, and when Yoojung came back from the interview, she was somewhat confused and disappointed that no one had tried to kiss her while Yoojung was away.  

When Yoojung was around, though, there wasn't time for anyone to try anything.  Yoojung took any chance she got to do skinships with Sei.  Whenever she looked at her phone, she saw so many pictures from the comeback, and in almost all of them, Yoojung was touching her somewhere.  What she didn't notice was that she was touching Yoojung back.  At one point during the afternoon, Yoojung let go of Sei's hand, which led Sei to realize she didn't know how long they'd been holding hands.  It was such a natural behavior that she didn't even notice she was doing it.

Late that night, the day finally came to an end.  As the girls were heading to the van for the drive back to their dorm, Yoojung came up behind Sei and put her arm around her.  "You should come sit by me in the van," she said, subtly steering Sei into the back of the van.  Sei recognized that this was the moment all of her practice with Suyeon and Elly had been leading up to - a lot can happen in the back of a dark van, when the manager is sitting up front by the driver, and all the girls are kind of noisy because of how excited they are.  She felt her heart beating faster and her mouth getting dry.  She licked her lips nervously, not noticing that Yoojung was watching her.  She also didn't notice Doyeon and the other unnies subtly steering the other girls to seats toward the front, so that Yoojung and Sei were alone in the back seat of the van.


	4. When two lovers woo

Sei sat down in the back of the van, and Yoojung sat down next to her and leaned into her.  Sei put her arm around Yoojung, who snuggled closer.

Yoojung looked up at her.  "Hey sweetie," she said, "you were great today!"

Sei blushed.  "Thanks.  You too!"  She brushed a strand of hair behind her ear, which promptly fell forward again.

Yoojung reached up and brushed Sei's hair back again.  "You've got such beautiful hair," Yoojung said, running her fingers through it.

Sei blushed even more, which she would have sworn wasn't possible.  "Thanks," she said.  "You're so sweet."

Manager-nim's voice rang out from the front of the van, cutting through the babble of conversations going on.  "Count off, please, starting in the back.

"One," Sei called out, immediately followed by Yoojung calling out "Two!"  In short order all eight girls had called out a number, confirming to Manager-nim that they were all present and she wasn't about to leave someone at the TV studio.

'OK," Manager-nim called out.  "You're all here, so we're on our way.  We're about an hour and a half away from your dorm, so you might as well get comfortable, try to get some sleep if you can."

"Sleep," Yoojung scoffed.  "As if we could sleep after that performance."

Just then the lights turned off as the van lurched forward and started moving.  They were left in near-total darkness, taking light only from the streetlights, the headlights of the other cars on the road, and the screens of the girls who had their phones out.

Looking around, Yoojung said, "Still, we should be good girls and try to do what our manager says."  She reached behind her and fiddled with a switch.  With a jolt, the seat reclined.

Sei gasped.  "I didn't know the back seat would lean back!"  As one of the maknaes, Sei usually had to sit in the front half of the van.  Apparently that was changing now that she was dating Yoojung.

"Oh, it'll lean all the way back," Yoojung said, her voice huskier than usual.  "But I think this will be fine.  I like to be able to see out."

"But doesn't that mean people can see in?" Sei asked nervously.

Yoojung shook her head.  "The windows are shaded.  From outside, they're solid black.  From inside, they vary based on the light available."  Apparently the unnies - or at least Yoojung - knew a lot more about the van than Sei did.  Sei had never really paid much attention to the van at all - it was just how they got from place to place.

Sei was suddenly brought back to the present by Yoojung's hand stroking her cheek.  "Hey sweetie," Yoojung was saying, "I'm right here.  Remember me?"  She looked up at Sei with a pouting expression.

Sei let out a nervous little laugh.  "Of course I remember you.  My mind was just wandering."

"Well, then, I'll have to try to be more interesting."  Yoojung turned in the seat and sat up so that she was as tall as Sei.  "Now you let me know if you need me to stop," she said quietly.  "I don't want to move too fast."  She leaned forward, her face close to Sei, then, after a moment that seemed to last forever, she leaned forward and kissed her.

Sei trembled as she felt Yoojung's lips touch hers.  This wasn't her first time kissing Yoojung - that had been the other night when she'd reminded Yoojung about her good night kiss - but somehow this kiss seemed more significant, more loaded with meaning.  Still, even with this bit of nervousness, all the training from Elly and Suyeon kicked in and Sei closed her eyes and started kissing Yoojung back.  After number of kisses of increasing intensity, Yoojung latched on to Sei's bottom lip and worried it with her teeth.  Sei whimpered quietly, feeling like electric shocks were flowing from Yoojung's mouth into her mouth and then down into her core.  She knew she was about to experience the moment that she'd been waiting for with various degrees of anticipation and dread for the past week was about to happen - the moment when Yoojung tried to kiss her with tongue.

Expecting the moment didn't make her any more prepared for it.  Yoojung leaned into Sei, pressing against her as her tongue entered Sei's mouth.  Sei had been kissed with tongue before, but never as thoroughly as this.  She had a feeling of being claimed.  Yoojung's tongue explored her mouth, making Sei quiver.  For such a small girl, Youjung had a long tongue - Sei felt as if Yoojung was devouring her from the inside.  Sei returned Yoojung's kiss, not feeling entirely in control of her body.  Her tongue darted forward, seeming of its own volition, dueling with Yoojung's.

Finally the time came when they had to stop to breathe.  "I've never kissed a girl like that," Sei gasped.  And it was true:  With all the times Suyeon and Elly had kissed her, their kisses never had the same intensity as Yoojung's.  Sei was glad they were still far from the dorm, because she felt like all the strength had drained from her muscles.  All she had the strength to do right now was lean into Yoojung.  She tried to catch her breath while also struggling to breathe quietly and consequently not being entirely successful in either effort.

Sei was suddenly made acutely aware of her body by the feel of Yoojung's hand sliding up under her shirt.  Yoojung's hand slid further up her stomach, crossed over her ribcage, and then Sei gasped as Yoojung's hand first touched her breast.

Yoojung paused briefly.  "Is this okay?" she asked, staring into Sei's eyes.  Sei nodded slowly, unsure of what else she could possibly do, and Yoojung's hand continued its exploration.  Even with the material of her bra in the way, Sei's nipples hardened at the touch of Yoojung's hands.  

Yoojung leaned forward until her lips grazed Sei's ear.  "You have great tits," she whispered, her breath tickling Sei's ear.  "The outfits they give you usually hide it, but yours are almost as big as Rina's."

So the rumors about Yoojung and Rina were true, Sei thought to herself.  She was surprised by the simultaneous feelings of Yoojung's hand pulling out of her shirt, coming to rest on her thigh, and Yoojung kissing her again.  The small part of her mind that was still capable of conscious thought was running around in circles, wondering if she was supposed to be enjoying this, if indeed she was straight, what was really happening here.  Her thoughts spiraled tighter and tighter, faster and faster, until finally it felt too good, she couldn't take it any more.  She straightened her arms, pushing Yoojung away from her.

"Enough," whispered, her voice barely louder than a breath.  "I can't take any more right now."

As if a switch had been flipped, Yoojung changed.  "Okay," she said, smiling at Sei.  "I was probably moving a little fast there.  It's just . . you're just. . . we're just. . . I just don't have the words, you know?"

Somehow Sei did know.  She nodded as she tried to catch her breath.  Yoojung leaned against her again, wrapping her arm around Sei's waist.

Sei leaned back in the seat, acutely aware of Yoojung's body pressed against hers.  She leaned her head back against the headrest and looked up at the ceiling.  She replayed everything that had happened since she and Yoojung had gotten into the van:  Every word, every look, every touch, everything.  What surprised her was what she couldn't find:  She couldn't find any trace of repulsion.  If she was straight, shouldn't she be revulsed at having made out with another girl?  And yet she wasn't.  If anything, she wanted more.  Maybe Elly was right - maybe everyone did have a bit of gay in them and it was just a matter of how far in you had to go to bring it out.  She looked down at Yoojung, who had fallen asleep leaned against her.  Yoojung was beautiful, kind, sweet, clever, funny. . . basically everything anyone could want in a girlfriend.  Yes, she could definitely do worse than being with Yoojung.  

But what did that mean for her future?  She had always pictured herself getting married, having kids, and then maybe one of her kids would be an idol as well.  But that was a long time off, she told herself.  They were all still under a dating ban for at least another year.  Not that it was stopping some of them, but still, she'd never met anyone she was willing to throw away her career for.

Yoojung stirred in her sleep, trying to get more comfortable against Sei's side.  She wrapped her arm around Sei, pulled her close, and went back to sleep.  Sei leaned her head against Yoojung's.  She felt terrible and wonderful, all at the same time.  Wonderful because Yoojung apparently loved her, terrible because she had gotten into this relationship with Yoojung just to pretend so they could make it through the latest round of promotions without Yoojung being depressed.  But she also felt confused, because some part of her didn't feel like she was pretending now.  Some of it had to be her training with Suyeon and Elly - having to be prepared to make out with another girl without notice at any time of the day or night had to have some effect on you - but there was something more than that.  Sei kissed Yoojung on the forehead then closed her eyes and tried to sleep, the whole time turning over and over in her mind thoughts of whether she was actually falling for Yoojung, and did that mean she was actually gay, and what was she going to do when the promotions were over, and did she want this to ever end, and. . . 


	5. Hearts Full of Passion

"Sei!  Sei!  Wake up!  We're back at the dorm!"

Sei opened her eyes to find Elly gently shaking her shoulder.  "Come on," Elly was saying. "We're back at the dorm.  Two minutes and you can be in your own bed."

Sei looked around, remembered where she was and what she had just done.  She tried to sit up, but one of her arms was still pinned under Yoojung.

"You did a good job today," Elly said, as she helped Sei pull her arm free.  "Good job.  Now, you head on up to the dorm, I'll wake up Yoojung."

Sei nodded, unsure how to react to Elly's praise.  She climbed out of the van and headed for the dorm, leaving Elly and Yoojung behind.

"Yoojung," Elly called softly.  "Wake up!"

"I'm awake," Yoojung said, without opening her eyes.

"No you're not," Elly responded.  "At least open your eyes."

"No, I'm awake," Yoojung insisted.  "Watch."  She reached her arm up around Elly's shoulders and pulled her down into the seat.  Without opening her eyes, she leaned forward and started kissing Elly.  Elly was so surprised by this that she didn't stop it at first, but after a moment, she remembered what was going on and what wasn't supposed to happen.  She pushed Yoojung away.

"Wake up!" she snapped.  "Look what you were about to do!"

Somehow the fact that it was Elly's voice that she was hearing finally registered in Yoojung's brain.  Her eyes flew open.  "Oh my God.  Elly!  I'm so sorry!  I thought you were Sei!  I'd never kiss you!  I mean, not that I don't think you're kissable, but it's just...  You know.  Oh my God oh my God!  Sei didn't see that, did she?  I don't want to lose her over something stupid I did when I was half asleep."

Elly patted Yoojung on the arm, calming her down.  "No, Sei didn't see - she's already headed up to the dorm.  Which is where we need to be heading - the driver's going to want to park the van, and we need to get to sleep."

Yoojung nodded, grabbed her purse, and headed for the dorm, Elly following behind her.

 

* * *

 

1:00 a.m.  They'd been back at the dorm for several hours. They had to be awake for the day in not many more hours than that.  But Suyeon couldn't sleep.  She was sitting on the couch, with the volume on the TV almost too low to hear, watching a drama.  Actually, watching might be too strong of a word:  She was sitting there with her eyes open, and the drama was passing in front of them, but mainly she was just wondering why she couldn't sleep.  She was so out of tune that she didn't even startle when Yoojung came out and plopped on the couch beside her.

"Insomnia again?" Yoojung asked.

Suyeon shook her head before turning her attention from the television to Yoojung.  "Yeah.  I wouldn't mind so much if I could actually do things while I've got insomnia, but I'm just sort of half awake, getting tireder and tireder but still unable to sleep.  I couldn't tell you what show I've been watching for the last hour, and I certainly couldn't tell you what's been happening."

Yoojung laid her hand on Suyeon's thigh.  "That sucks.  I wish there was some way I could fix it for you."

Suyeon smiled weakly.  "Thanks.  That's sweet of you to say.  But I don't know if anything can fix this - I've tried counting sheep, biofeedback, chamomile tea.  The only thing that's had any effect is the sleeping pills that Dr. Lee prescribed for me, but I hate using those because I feel so hung over the next day."  Suyeon fell quiet for a moment, then turned toward Yoojung.  "But what about you?  What are you doing up?  I've never known you to have trouble sleeping."

Yoojung snorted dismissively.  "Me?  Nothing you need to worry about.  Woman troubles."

Suyeon looked surprised.  "What are you talking about?  You got Sei into the back of the van tonight.  You reached second base and were on your way to third when she stopped you."

Yoojung raised an eyebrow and looked skeptically at Suyeon.  "You know an awful lot about my love life, Ji Suyeon!"  

Yoojung's attempt to look and sound fierce didnt quite succeed, but Suyeon was at least able to keep from laughing aloud.  Instead she shrugged.  "What can I say?  I like to watch."

Yoojung shook her head with a smile.  "I don't know if I should be flattered or dismayed that I've caught your attention that way." 

"But that's neither here nor there," Suyeon interjected.  "You were about to tell me about your woman troubles."

Yoojung nodded, then craned her neck to look around and be sure they were the only ons awake, then settled back into the couch.  "Okay," she said, her voice barely audible, "it's like this:  Yeah, things are going great with Sei.  But when we got back to the dorm tonight, Elly came back and woke us up, and I sort of accidentally kissed Elly and it brought up all sorts of memories.  I've been lying in bed, just thinking about both of them.  Suyeon, I just don't know what I want anymore.  What should I do?"

After waiting in vain for Suyeon's response, Yoojung looked up and saw that Suyeon was asleep.  She rolled her eyes.  "At least one of us got something out of this conversation," she said ruefully.  She grabbed a throw from the end of the couch and covered Suyeon, then made her way back to her bed, her thoughts no quieter than they had been.  All night she tossed and turned as in her dreams she passed seamlessly from Elly's arms to Sei's and back again.

 

* * *

 

Sei was on her way to get breakfast when she heard someone calling her from one of the bathrooms.  "Pssst!  Sei!  Come here!"

She turned around and saw Elly peeking at her from a crack in the door.  After a quick look around to see that no one was watching her, Sei dashed into the bathroom and locked the door behind her.  As she turned away from the doorknob, she took Elly in her arms and started kissing her.  Taking a step forward, she forced Elly back against the wall.  She was only an inch taller than Elly, but the element of surprise and the leverage she had gained made her seem taller than that as Elly clung to her in an effort to keep from falling.  Sei put her hand on Elly's hip and ran it up her side, in the process causing Elly's towel to come untied and fall to the floor.  Realizing what was happening, Elly struggled to keep the towel from falling off, and when that didn't happen, she struggled to push Sei off of her, to no avail.  Sei seemed totally oblivious to Elly's displeasure until Elly bit her on the tongue.

"Ow!" Sei exclaimed.  "What was that about?"

"What was that about?" Elly asked, as she reach down for her towel and tried to wrap it back around her.  "What's up with coming in here and attacking me like that?  What's that about?"

"Attacking you?  Attacking you?"  Sei laughed.  "Oh, that's funny.  Look, if I've become some kind of lesbian sex machine, it's because that's what you and Suyeon have turned me into.  I was a happy straight girl until you two started your lesbian sneak-attack therapy on me-"

"Which I only did because you and Suyeon asked me to!" Elly protested.

Sei shook her head.  "No.  No no no no no.  I asked you to help me fake being gay so that I could fake being in a relationship with Yoojung so she wouldn't get all brokenhearted and ruin our comeback.  Instead, you've gotten all up inside my head and now I love touching Yoojung and I can't get enough of kissing her.  And part of my mind still knows that I don't like girls that way, but the rest of me thinks I do, and I just can't help myself.  You've turned me into some sort of lesbian Frankenstein's monster!"  And with that she turned and stormed out of the bathroom.

"No," Elly said to herself as she closed the bathroom door slowly while watching Sei storm away.  "It's like you're a lesbian Eliza Doolittle and I'm your professor Higgins."  As she dried her hair and got dressed, Elly turned this idea over and over in her head, and she had to admit it was true - she'd turned Sei into this, then she'd fallen in love with her creation.  "Not that I can do anything about it," she sighed to herself as she got dressed.  The need to protect Yoojung's heart was still there, and would be until the end of the comeback.  "But as soon as Sei dumps Yoojung," Elly thought, "I can make my move."  Elly looked herself in the eye as she applied her mascara.  Was this evil of her?  She didn't know.  More to the point, she didn't care.  She wanted Sei, and one way or another she was going to have her.

 

* * *

 

The day's promotions had gone well.  So well, in fact, that Suyeon ordered chicken and beer delivery when they got back to the dorm.  The girls made a sort of mini party of it, celebrating their successful comeback.  As time passed, though, the beer together with the exhaustion from the day's activities got to be too much for them, and one by one they drifted off to bed.  Elly noticed that as Sei left, she made sure to give Yoojung a lingering kiss as she told her good night.  

After a while, everyone was asleep but Yoojung and Elly.  Elly wasn't sleepy - she needed to figure out her feelings for Sei and what she wanted to do about them.  And what, she wondered, was Yoojung still doing up?  Elly had expected her to follow Sei to bed, maybe try to pick up where they'd left off in the van the previous night.  She started to get a clue as to Yoojung's intentions when Yoojung opened the last two beers and came to sit on the couch by her, handing her one of the cans.  Elly turned away from Yoojung and took a big sip of the beer, then turned back to find Yoojung looking at her contemplatively.

"Elly," she asked, fidgeting with her can of beer, "why did you and I break up?"

Elly sighed deeply and took another sip of beer before responding.  "We were making each other miserable.  We were terrible together, tearing each other apart."

"Oh, I don't know," Yoojung said, pausing to down half her beer in one go, 'I seem to recall someone screaming my name every night.  Sometimes several times a night."

Elly blushed.  "Well, yes, that part was great," she admitted, "but we can't have just that part.  And anyway, what about Sei?"

Yoojung shrugged.  "What about Sei?"

Elly nervously took another sip of her beer, unsure if she liked the way this conversation was heading or not.  "I heard you tell her tonight that you love her."

Yoojung downed the rest of her beer and put the can down on the table.  When she turned back to Elly, she laid her hand on her arm.  "And I do.  Sei's a good girl."  She leaned in closer to Elly, looking into her eyes.  "But sometimes I need a bad girl, and Sei's not ready to be that for me yet."

Elly backed away a fraction of an inch.  "So you want me to be your side chick, so you can do things with me that you can't ask her to do?"

Yoojung nodded and leaned closer to Elly.  "You can't pretend you're not excited by the idea,  I know you too well:  You're blushing a little bit, you're breathing faster, your lips are slightly parted. . . Girl, I can read you like a book."

Yoojung leaned forward and kissed Elly.  As she'd expected, Elly was not just receptive to the idea, but had soon taken charge, her tongue exploring Yoojung's mouth, her hand clasped in Yoojung's hair.  When they separated, Yoojung was staring up at her drunkenly, and not just from the beer.

"Take me back to you room," Yoojung said softly, "and do bad things to me."

"And what about Sei?" Elly asked, smiling sweetly.

"Fuck Sei," Yoojung replied.

"You wish you could," Elly said, her smile turning wicked.  "But since you can't, come with me."

 

* * *

 

Sei got up the next morning, her head pounding from the night before.  Looking around the bedroom, she noticed Yoojung wasn't in her bed.  "That's not like Yoojung," she thought, "she's never been a morning person.  She probably drank too much last night and fell asleep on the couch."  She knew Yoojung was proud of her ability to drink as much as she wanted and never have a hangover the next morning, so she didn't really worry about it.  She grabbed her shower caddy and headed for the bathroom.

As she passed the unnies' room, Yoojung came out and almost ran into her.  "Oh, Sei, hi!" Yoojung said, clearly as startled by Sei at the near collision.  Sei noticed the Yoojung was still wearing her shirt from the day before and carrying her shorts.

"What were you doing in the unnies' room?" Sei asked, her face a perfect picture of innocence.

"Oh. . . umm. . . "  Yoojung was clearly embarrassed.  "I had a problem that I needed one of the unnies to help me take care of."

Sei's forehead wrinkled in concern.  "Is it something that I can help with?"

Yoojung shook her head vigorously.  "No, no - it's all taken care of."

Sei leaned forward to kiss Yoojung, only to have Yoojung lean back out of her reach.  "Oh, not right now," Yoojung protested, "I fell asleep on the couch last night and I need to shower and brush my teeth.  I owe you a kiss later."  

And with that, Yoojung scurried off to go get some clean clothes, leaving Sei standing in the hallway perplexed.  "What problem could Yoojung be having?" she wondered.  She didn't think it had anything to do with her.  But what if it did?  What if everything she'd been doing still wasn't enough?  "The only thing to do," she told herself, "is go talk to Elly."

She knocked on the door.  "Elly?"  On hearing a muffled response from within, she went inside.

Closing the door behind her, she told Elly about her encounter with Yoojung.  "So now I'm just wondering," she finished, "is there something more I need to be doing?"

"Ummmm," Elly said, pulling her blanket up tighter around her neck, "couldn't we talk about this later?  Maybe after breakfast?  Or at least after I get a shower?"

Sei shook her head.  "Nope.  If it's important enough that Yoojung needed to come talk to you before she even put her pants on this morning, it's important enough for you and me to talk about right now."

Inwardly cursing Yoojung for not taking time to get fully dressed before sneaking out of her room this morning, Elly tried to come up with something to tell Sei.  Finally, she decided that a carefully edited version of the truth was probably the best thing.  "Well," she began, "Yoojung was actually worried about you.  You know, she's got a high sex drive, but she doesn't want to pressure you into anything you're not ready for."

"I think I'm ready," Sei said.  "I just don't know how."

"It's just like when you take care of yourself," Elly said, "except you're doing it to her."

Sei looked concerned.  "I won't have to put my whole hand inside her, like they did in that video you showed us that time, will I?"

Elly felt a fluttering in her core as she looked at Sei's small hands.  "That's something you'd have to discuss with her, but it's probably better to start small."

Sei nodded.  "And what about going down on her?"

"She'd probably like that," Elly said, "but her showing you what she likes would probably be better than me trying to explain it to you."

Sei nodded, then ran up and gave Elly a hug.  "Thanks unnie!  Oh, and I'm sorry I freaked you out yesterday morning - I just kind of freaked out that you were freaked out."  She leaned in and gave Elly a quick kiss on the lips.  "Ooh!  You taste different this morning!  Is that a new lip gloss?"

Thinking quickly, Elly grabbed a lip gloss from her nightstand.  "This one," she said, handing it to Sei.

Sei looked at the label and then applied it to herself.  Running her tongue around her mouth, she said, "Nope, it doesn't taste the same on me.  Must be something about your body chemistry.."

"That must be it,"" Elly agreed, desperately wishing she'd had a chance to wash her face since being ith Yoojung.  "Now, we'd better all go shower and get ready for the day's promotions.  And don't worry about Yoojung - I've taken care of her for now."

Sei nodded thoughfully.  "Okay, unnie.  See you at breakfast!"

Elly sat in her bed and watched Sei leave, hoping that she had indeed dodged this bullet, as it seemed she had.


	6. Moonlight and Romance?

Sei waited in the hallway for Suyeon to finish her shower.  She heard the water turn off, then a few minutes later Suyeon came out of the bathroom wearing her favorite purple nightgown.  She almost ran into Sei before she stopped short.

"Sei!  What's up?"  Suyeon looked hesitant.

Sei's face was serious.  She leaned toward Suyeon so she could speak more quietly.  "I need help, Suyeon.  Private help."

Suyeon nodded.  "Follow me."  She led the way to her room, stopping on the way to tell Elly that she'd need to stay out of the room for a while.  Once they were in the room, she locked the door and turned on some music.

"So no one can hear us," she said.  Sei nodded.

Suyeon sat down on her bed and motioned for Sei to come sit next to her.  "So. . . what's the problem?" she asked.

Sei looked down, then finally raised her head up and looked at Suyeon.  "I don't know what to do, Suyeon.  When Yoojung wants to have sex with me, I don't know what to do."

Suyeon nodded.  "If you don't want to, just tell her no.  Yoojung will respect that."

Sei shook her head vigorously.  "No, it's not that.  I want to do it, but I literally don't know what to do.  I know how it works with a guy, but not with two girls.  I asked Elly, and she said it would be like when I'm taking care of myself, only I'd be doing it to Yoojung instead of doing it to myself."

"That sounds about right," Suyeon said.  "So what's the prob-"

"I don't know how to take care of myself!" Sei interrupted.  "I never do that.  But I didn't feel like I could tell Elly that."

"And you felt like you could tell me?"  Suyeon asked.

Sei nodded.

"And you've never, ever. . ."

Sei shook her head.  "Never."

Suyeon took a deep breath, then released it slowly.  "And you want me to teach you?"

Sei nodded.  "I don't know who else to ask."

"You could ask Yoojung," Suyeon suggested.  "I bet she'd love the chance to teach you."

Sei shook her head.  "I'm already going to feel out of control, especially after the way you and Elly messed up my head.  I don't want to feel totally out of control."

Suyeon looked guilty at Sei's description of what she and Elly had done as "messing up her head," but figured if Sei was still here talking to her, that things must be somehow okay.  "Okay," she began, "the first thing you do is-"

"No, no, no," Sei interjected.  "I've read descriptions.  I've even watched video.  I'm still not getting it.  I need you to show me."

"Show you?" Suyeon asked, her eyebrows raised.

"Yes," Sei said with a nod.  "All it should take is just a couple of minutes and I'll know everything I need to know."

"But. . . it's not that easy. . ." Suyeon protested.  "I can't just. . ."

"Yes you can," Sei said, folding her arms across her chest, "you can and you will.  I need to know this, you're my unnie, you're the best one to teach me."

Suyeon sighed.  "Let me think for a second."  She sat quietly for a moment, looking back and forth between Sei, the ceiling, and the far wall.  She sighed again.  Finally she nodded decisively.  "Okay.  I know what to do."  She scooted back so that she was leaning against her headboard, then spread her legs wide.  "Get undressed, then come sit between my legs."

Sei sputtered.  "Get undressed?"

"You can't do it with your clothes on," Suyeon responded.

"But- but- I thought you'd just show me."

"I thought about that," Suyeon said, "but I think hands-on is better here.  Now get undressed and come sit between my legs."

Nodding resignedly, Sei pulled off her shorts, then stripped out of her underwear.  Suyeon took the opportunity to check out Sei's slim legs, her slender hips, and the light dusting of hair over her mons.  Sei climbed onto the bed, then turned around to sit between Suyeon's legs, leaning back against her.  "Okay, now what?"

"Now you need to spread your legs until they're pressed up against mine."

Sei did, and Suyeon was amazed at how soft and warm her legs were.

"Now give me your hands."

It took a little bit of wrangling to get their hands and arms arranged, but once they did, Suyeon was able to move Sei's hands like a puppet.

"Okay, are you ready?" she asked.

Sei nodded.  "Let's go."

Suyeon reached down with one of Sei's hands and gently rubbed her sex.  She pulled her folds open and reached in with her other hand to feeling around for her clit.  A gasp let her know that she had found it.

"Okay, you can rub up and down like this, or around in circles like this."  Suyeon used Sei's hands to demonstrate each of the motions.  "When you start getting wet, you can run your fingers through the wetness and use it as lube."  Again, Suyeon demonstrated.  She probably could have let go and Sei could have done it herself, but Suyeon was too caught up in what she was doing to stop.  She continued using Sei's hands to stroke her clit, from time to time stopping to experimentally stick a fingertip or two inside her.  Her breathing quickened and roughened in time with Sei's.  After some time of this, when Suyeon's arms were starting to get sore from the awkwardness of reaching around Sei, Suyeon heard Sei's breath catch.  Sei threw her head back onto Suyeon's shoulder, crying out as her body stiffened.  Suyeon held Sei until her breathing had started returning to normal and she tried to sit up.

Sei turned and looked at Suyeon, staring deep into her eyes.  Suyeon couldn't read the expression on her face; she was about to ask what was going on when Sei said "thank you" and leaned forward to kiss her.  Sei wrapped her arms around Suyeon as she thrust her tongue into Suyeon's mouth.  She put everything she had learned from kissing Suyeon and Elly and Yoojung into that kiss.  

Suyeon had just started kissing her back when there was a knock at the door.  Sei pulled away and looked at the door in a panic.  "Just a second" she called out as she scrambled out of Suyeon's bed and started throwing on her clothes.  She opened the door to let Elly in.

"Sorry to interrupt," Elly said, "but it's getting late and we all need to get to sleep for promos tomorrow."

"No, it's okay," Sei said.  "We were just finishing up."  She turned to Suyeon.  "Thank you, Suyeon-unnie.  Good night."  And with that, she left their room and headed for her own.


	7. Jealousy and Hate

Sei woke up before everyone else, drank a cup of tea, and started lacing up her running shoes.  She'd always enjoyed her morning runs, but now they were especially important to her - that was the only time of day that would be alone.  Just then, she heard a door open up behind her.  Spinning around, she saw Lucy coming out of the maknaes' room.

"Good morning Sei-unnie," Lucy said.  "Can I ask you something?"

Sei sighed - she didn't want to give up her run, but something in Lucy's face made her want to answer her.  "I was about to go for my run," she said, "but if you come with me, we can talk while we run."

Lucy scowled  Sei knew that running wasn't Lucy's favorite exercise, so whether or not she agreed to come along on this run would sort of show how important to her whatever she wanted to ask was.  After a moment's thought, Lucy nodded.  "Okay," she said.  "You might have to slow down a little bit so I can keep up with you though."

Sei looked Lucy up and down.  "You've got those long legs, and yet I might have to slow down?"

Lucy scoffed.  "Some of us don't go running every morning."

"Maybe you should," Sei said.  "Manager-nim was really fussing at you about your diet and exercise yesterday."

"I'll think about it," Lucy said, her distaste evident on her face.

Sei laughed.  "By which you mean you'll run if there's no other exercise you can do."

Lucy looked up from tying her shoes.  "Something like that," she said.  She stood up and bounced on her toes a couple of times.  "Okay, I'm ready to go."

As they walked down the stairs to the sidewalk, Sei asked "So why did you pick me to ask this important top-secret question of?"

Lucy chewed on her bottom lip nervously.  "I need an unnie's advice. . ." she began.

"So why me?" Sei broke in.  "You've got seven unnies in Weki Meki, to say nothing of our seniors."

Lucy shook her head.  "I need an unnie, but you're close enough to my age that you're just barely an unnie.  But you're more of an unnie than Rina and Lua, so I trust your answers." 

Sei rolled her eyes.  "So I'm the littlest unnie," she said drily.  "So what did you want to talk to your unnie about?"

Totally ignoring the sarcasm in Sei's voice, Lucy shook her head.  "Not here.  Someone might wake up and overhear us."

"Okay then, let's go," Sei said and took off running up the street, without even looking to see if Lucy was following her.  After a few blocks, the dorm was out of sight and they were surrounded by stores that had yet to open for the day.  Sei slowed down so that Lucy could catch up and run beside her.  "Okay," Sei said, not even breathing hard, "now there's no one around to hear your big super-secret."

Lucy nodded.  Her breath was coming a little bit harder than Sei's, but she could still carry on a conversation.  "Okay.  Here's the deal.  Suyeon's not dating anyone right now. . ."  The rest of Lucy's sentence was cut off when they had to go back to running single file because of a road construction site.  

Sei was pretty sure she knew where Lucy was going with this, but she wanted to wait and be sure before she said anything.  After half a block, they'd passed the construction and were able to run side-by-side again.  

"Anyway, l was saying," Lucy said, "Suyeon's dating anyone right now, and I want to date her, but I don't know what to do.  How did you catch Yoojung?"

Sei thought for a moment.  "Actually, Yoojung caught me - she was the one doing the chasing.  She started out with doing nice things for me, just little things, then moved up to little symbols of affection, like holding my hand or kissing me on the cheek, then moved up to-"

"Making out with you in the back of the van," Lucy interjected.  Sei just blushed.  Lucy continued, "But I've been doing all those things, and Suyeon doesn't seem to notice."

They ran on in silence for a while, Sei afraid she knew what Lucy was going to ask, and unsure of how she'd respond.  Finally, Lucy asked:  "Will you talk to her for me?"

Sei thought about it a moment.  On the one hand, a Suyeon who was dating Lucy would be unable to keep ambushing Sei.  On the other hand, she'd be less available to help Sei if she ran into problems.  It took the length of 2 storefronts for Sei to realize that she already knew the answer and was just trying to get out of saying it.

"Fine," she said, "I'll talk to her when we get back."

"Thank you unnie!"  The smile and hug that Lucy gave her made Sei wish that she was Lucy's target instead of Suyeon.  But, of course, Lucy wouldn't do that:  Sei was Yoojung's girlfriend, and Lucy wouldn't try to split them up.  That was one of the things they all loved about her - that she was such a fundamentally good person.  Sei suddenly felt very small because of how she was deceiving Yoojung.

 

* * *

 

They got back to the dorm just as a shouting match between Suyeon and Yoojung apparently reached its climax.  The other members of the band had made themselves scarce, while Suyeon and Yoojung faced off in the middle of the living room.

"Oh yeah?" Suyeon was yelling.  "At least I'm not the one trying to date a straight girl!"

Yoojung sputtered.  "Straight? What are you talking about?  Sei's not straight!"

"Oh yes she is!  She's as straight as a-" Suyeon paused, at a loss for words.  "Straight as a-  as a-  Totally straight!  She is totally straight!"

"Then how do you explain what she and I did in the back of the van the other night?" Yoojung asked, looking triumphant

Suyeon scoffed.  "You think so?  That's just because Elly and I have been teaching her to act gay, so that she wouldn't break your heart and ruin the comeback!"

"What?  That's-" Yoojung just noticed that Sei and Lucy had come into the apartment.  And she could tell from looking at Sei's face that Suyeon was telling the truth.  She stopped mid-sentence, seeming to fold in on herself, and tears welled up in her eyes.  She ran into the bedroom and slammed the door behind her.

"Yoojung!" Sei cried out.  She tried to open the bedroom door, but Yoojung was apparently leaning against the door.  "Yoojung!  I-  It started out like that, but that's not how it is anymore!"

"You don't have to pretend not to be straight anymore," Yoojung yelled back through the door, "Your secret's out.  Just go away and leave me alone!"

Sei felt Suyeon's hands on her shoulder, leading her away from the door.  Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Lucy heading into the maknaes' room.  The look on Lucy's face made her feel even lower than she already did.  "What happened here?" she asked Suyeon.  "What's going on?"

Suyeon was breathing heavily, trying to calm down.  "I woke up to the sound of Yoojung and Elly screwing and I just lost it."

Suyeon shook her head.  "Even if you were faking your relationship with her, you don't deserve for her to cheat on you.  That's just not okay."

Sei sank down onto the couch and looked up at Suyeon.  "Oh, and what we did was okay?  Me pretending to be gay in order to be with Yoojung?"

"That's different," Suyeon protested, sitting down next to Sei.  "We weren't trying to hurt anyone.  We were trying to keep someone from getting hurt."

Sei gestured toward the bedroom door.  "Yeah, and that worked so well."

Suyeon sat thinking quietly for a long moment.  Sudden she looked up at Sei.  "What did you say?"

"I said, 'and that worked so well."

Suyeon shook her head vigorously.  "No.  No.  Not then.  Before that.  You said you started out by faking it?  Does that mean you're not faking it now?"

Sei looked down.  "I. . . yes. . . or no. . . I don't think so, but I'm not sure."

Suyeon looked into Sei's eye.  "No, you're not faking it now.  You really care about Yoojung.  And I ruined it for you!"  She stood up and started toward the door Yoojung was hiding behind.  "I've got to try to make this right."

Sei caught Suyeon by the wrists and pulled her back down on the couch  "No," she said, "it's no good.  She doesn't want to talk to either one of us right now.  Once she calms down some, I'll try talking to her.  I just need you and Elly to stay out of the way.  Besides, you've got another issue to deal with."

Suyeon raised her eyebrows.  "Another issue?  What's that?"

Sei leaned closer to Suyeon and lowered her voice.  "Lucy wants to date you.  Or, at least, she did before she heard what you and I did to Yoojung.  That's why she went out for a run with me this morning - she wanted me to talk to you and play matchmaker."

"And then you came in to see that-" Suyeon gestured in Yoojung's general direction.  "I just screwed up everything today, didn't I?"

'I don't know," Sei said, holding her head in her hands.  "I really don't know."  Sei suddenly realized that there were tears streaming down her cheeks.  "I don't know anything anymore."  She leaned back into the couch and wrapped her arms around herself.  "Why don't you go talk to Lucy?  Even if she doesn't forgive you, she deserves an explanation for all this."

Suyeon nodded quietly and looked nervously toward the maknae's room.

 

 

* * *

 

"And that's where you and Sei came in," Suyeon said.  She was sitting on Lucy's bed, telling Lucy everything that had happened over the past week.  Having reached the end of her story, she collapsed, seeming smaller than Lucy had ever seen her.  After a brief silence, she looked up.  "Sei told me what you told her this morning," she said, 'but I don't expect you to still feel that way now."  She stood up to leave, only to have Lucy take her hand and stop her.

Lucy looked up at Suyeon, her eyes bright.  "Now?" she said.  "I don't know what I feel now.  I mean, yes, what you and Sei and Elly did to Yoojung was wrong and stupid and kind of mean, but - I can't explain it, because I don't understand it - I still want to date you."

"That will pass," Suyeon said, looking down at Lucy and shaking her head.  "You deserve someone better than me."

Lucy stood up, capturing both of Suyeon's hands in hers.  "Maybe I do.  Maybe I'm being stupid, but I don't want someone better than you.  I want you!"

Suyeon shook her head.  "But-  You're just-  You're so-"

Lucy squeezed Suyeon's hands.  "Don't you dare say anything about how young I am.  I'm old enough to know what I want.  And even if I want something that's not good for me, that's my choice."

Suyeon blinked.  "I don't understand."

Lucy smiled at her.  "I don't understand either.  I just know this is how I feel.  Maybe I'm being stupid or maybe I'm wrong but this is what I want."

Suyeon shook her head.  'I don't deserve you.  I don't deserve to be happy."

Lucy snatched Suyeon up in a hug.  "Now you're just being ridiculous.  I don't know that anyone deserves to be happy.  But you've got a chance to be happy - and even if it's just for a while, at least it's something.  And even if you deserve to be miserable, do I deserve to be miserable too?"  She laid her head on Suyeon's shoulder.

Suyeon wrapped her arms around Lucy, lightly stroking her head.  "No.  No, you don't deserve to be miserable.  You're so sweet - you deserve to get what you want.  And if what you want is me, well, I'm not going to pretend to understand, but-"

Lucy stood up straight and looked Suyeon in the eyes.  "You don't have to understand.  Just trust that I know what I'm doing here."

Suyeon blinked.  "And if you don't?"

Lucy shrugged.  "Then someday it'll be you and me yelling at each other in the living room.  We'll deal with that if it happens.  Why borrow trouble?"

Suyeon looked up at Lucy.  She opened her mouth, but discovered she had no idea what to say.  Finally she just gave up and settled for hugging Lucy more tightly.

"Anyway," Lucy said, "what are we going to do about Sei and Yoojung?"

Suyeon shook her head.  "I've fucked that up bad enough already - I don't know that there's anything I can do that would make that situation better.  I think the best thing I can do is stay out of the way.  What do you think?"

Lucy smiled at her.  "I think you're finally starting to sound like an unnie."

 

* * *

 

Sei looked up to discover Yoojung standing in front of her.

"Yoojung, I-"  But Yoojung cut her off.

"You'll get your turn to talk," Yoojung said, but first you're going to listen."

Sei nodded, then scooted over toward one end of the couch so Yoojung would have room to sit on the other end.  After pacing back and forth across the room, Yoojung sat down on the other end of the couch from Sei and then turned to face her.  Her eyes were red and her breathing was ragged.

"I think I understand why you did what you did," Yoojung said, her voice barely louder than a whisper.  "But it was just a really stupid and cruel thing for Suyeon to have had you do."

Sei spoke up quickly, wanting to be sure Yoojung had all of the truth.  "Actually, it wasn't just Suyeon's idea.  It was my idea too.  We knew you wanted to be with me, and it was only three days until the comeback.  You're terrible at faking your emotions, so we knew there was no way you could make it through the comeback with a broken heart."

"So instead you just played with me so you can break my heart when it's convenient?"  Yoojung wiped her eyes with the back of her hand.  "I just- I can't believe this!"

"I know," Sei said, rushing to get the words out while Yoojung was still willing to listen, "I know, and I'm so sorry.  It was my idea, so if you're going to be mad at someone, be mad at me.  I mean, Suyeon had the same idea, but I would have thought of it without her.  Really all Suyeon and Elly did was teach me how to pretend to be gay, and-"

Yoojung's eyes got big as she cut Sei off.  "Elly was part of this too?  Elly?  Elly knew about this?"  By the end of this, she was leaning toward Sei and shouting in her face.  Sei couldn't do anything but nod, as she was totally unsure what Yoojung was going to do next.

Yoojung fell silent for a moment, looking around the room as she tried to regain her composure.  Finally, she looked at Sei again.  "Tell me one thing.  Just one thing, and goddammit, it'd better be the truth:  Did you feel anything for me, ever, or was it all an act?"

Sei took a deep breath, folded her hands in her lap, and looked Yoojung in the eye.  "At first it was all an act, because I thought I was 100% straight.  But as time went on, I started to feel like it didn't matter what you are, it just mattered that you are you, and I love you - I really do! - and I'd love to have a chance to try to make things right with you, because I really enjoyed being with you, and-"

The tears that had been welling up in Sei's eyes overflowed them  as Yoojung cut her off.  "Thank you for your honesty Sei - and I really do believe you - but right now I can't hear any more of this.  I've got to go for a walk."  And with that, Yoojung turned away from Sei and walked out of the apartment.


	8. Still the Same Old Story

Lucy grabbed Suyeon's hand.  "What's wrong?" she asked.

Suyeon looked around the coffee shop where she and Lucy had spent the evening.  After a glance at the clock on the wall, she turned back to Lucy.  "I'm worried.  And I'm feeling guilty for being happy here with you.  I'm sure the others have started coming back to the apartment and fights are starting up again."

"And curfew's in-" Lucy checked the clock "- forty minutes.  If we get back by curfew, there will still be plenty of fighting going on, I'm sure.  Hell, we could be late for curfew and the fighting would probably still be going on."

"And that's why I feel guilty," Suyeon said.  "Our members are fighting, and it's partly my fault, and instead of being there ready to put out the fires, I'm out with you.  I feel like I'm running away."

Lucy put her arm around Suyeon.  "And maybe you are running away for a little while.  Is that so bad?  What's that thing that flight attendants always say when we go on flights?  'Be sure to put your own oxygen mask on before helping others with theirs.'  Think of this as putting your oxygen mask on - you're getting away from things for a little bit and building up a store of good feelings to carry you through the bad times to come."

Suyeon laid her head on Lucy's shoulder and looked up at her.  "Has anyone ever told you you're kind of amazing?"

Lucy blushed, momentarily at a loss for words.

Suyeon picked her head up and looked into Lucy's eyes.  "I mean it.  You're a good person, and you're so clever that no one would guess you're the maknae.  We probably should have come to you when this whole thing started."

"Now you're just being ridiculous," Lucy said.  "My unnies don't need me to tell them what to do."  Even so, Suyeon couldn't help but notice the smile that crossed Lucy's face.

"As much as I'm enjoying getting to spend time with you, we'd better get going.  If we leave now, we should have just enough time to walk back to the dorm before curfew."

 

* * *

 

Yoojung walked into her bedroom to find Sei gone and Doyeon there.

"Hey!  What's wrong?" Doyeon asked.

Yoojung looked up suddenly.  "What makes you think that anything's wrong?"  She hadn't told Doyeon about what had been going on, and apparently Sei hadn't been around to tell her either.

Doyeon rolled her eyes.  "I can tell something's wrong.  The apartment's got that icky feeling that it gets whenever we've been fighting.  But it's never been this bad - not even when you and Elly were breaking up and fighting all the time."  Doyeon suddenly gasped.  "Elly didn't try to break up you and Sei, did she?"

Yoojung shook her head.  "No, nothing so simple to fix as that."  She sat down on her bed, curling her legs under her.  "You'd better sit down - this is going to take some time to tell."  And with that, Yoojung began the whole story of the day's events, starting from first thing that morning, when she had Elly had awoken Suyeon by being too loud in bed.  Then Suyeon yelling at her for cheating on Sei, then the whole thing coming out about how Sei had been only pretending to be gay so that Yoojung wouldn't be heartbroken and ruin the comeback, then Sei's confession that she really did have feelings for Yoojung and that she apparently wasn't as straight as she had previously believed.  Doyeon's face passed through various stages of startled, angry, concerned, and confused as Yoojung told this story.

After Yoojung reached the end of her recounting, Doyeon let the silence hang in the air a moment before asking, mock-flippantly, "Did anything else happen today?"

"Oh!  Yeah!  I almost forgot!" 

Doyeon didn't see how anything else could have happened for Yoojung to have forgotten about, but given all the things that had happened, she couldn't blame her for forgetting something.  "Forgot what?"

"Apparently Suyeon and Lucy are dating now," Yoojung said, putting her hand to her forehead as if the whole thing was giving her a headache.  "And I don't even know how I feel about that."

"Well, that seems to be really the least of your worries," Doyeon said.  "First you need to figure out how you feel about Sei."

"What do you think I've spent all evening trying to do?" Yoojung asked, flinging herself back on her bed dramatically.  "I love her, and I hate her, and I want to give her another chance, and I never want to see her again.  And it's made just that much more complicated by my feelings about Elly and our history together, and also my feelings about Suyeon-"

"You and Suyeon don't have history," Doyeon interjected.

"No," Yoojung conceded, "but the fact remains that she's our leader and our senior unnie."

"Good point," Doyeon said, nodding.  Just then they heard the front door of the apartment open and close, followed by the sound of Lua and Rina excitedly telling Elly about all the things that they'd done on their day off.  Yoojung found herself thinking how much simpler things would be if she was one of the maknaes and didn't have to worry about relationship troubles.

The apartment door opened and closed again, and Yoojung heard Lucy and Suyeon, and soon after a quiet voice that could only be Sei. She felt her heart quiver and her eyes welling up - she didn't know what to do, and she was afraid if she tried to do anything now, she'd do the wrong thing.  Looking quickly at Doyeon, she whispered "Quick!  Go out there and stall Sei for a few minute.  I'm going to bed - I want to be asleep when she comes in here."

"Are you sure?" Doyeon asked quietly.

Yoojung nodded.  "I don't know what to do tonight, and I'm hoping things will look clearer in the morning."

"I hope you're right," Doyeon said, turning off the light and slipping out of the bedroom as Yoojung got into her nightgown and climbed into her bed.

 

* * *

 

Sei sat in the kitchen drinking a cup of tea.  Except for a stop for a bowl of noodles, she'd spent the whole evening wandering the city, trying to decide what she needed to do.  Well, she admitted to herself, that's not entirely true.  She knew what she needed to do; she'd spent the whole evening trying to come up with something else to do instead.  But try as she might to find an alternative, the fact was that there was nothing else to be done but to talk to Yoojung.  And Yoojung had made it clear that she didn't want to talk to Sei right now.

She saw Doyeon come out of their bedroom, which meant that Yoojung was either already asleep or else out past curfew.  Neither one seemed particularly likely - Yoojung was the biggest night owl in the group, and she never missed curfew.  

Just then Doyeon came into the kitchen and opened the cabinets where they kept the bowls.  Apparently she hadn't noticed Sei, sitting in the dark corner of the kitchen.

"Hey Doyeon," Sei said, eliciting a slight startle from her.  "Do you know where Yoojung is?"

Doyeon put a bowl of instant kimchi-flavored noodles down on the counter, then turned on the kettle.  She came and sat down by Sei while waiting for the water to boil.  "Yeah, she already went to sleep.  She seemed really upset about something.  Do you know what's going on with her?"

Sei was surprised - it wasn't like Yoojung to keep secrets from Doyeon; the two were so close, ever since their time together in Produce 101.  "Yeah, I know.  It's like this. . ."  And she told Doyeon the whole story, starting with the picture of Yoojung kissing her - she still had it on her phone - and continuing up to that morning's confrontations.  It took long enough that the kettle came to a boil and Doyeon ate her bowl of noodles while Sei was telling the story.

"And I don't know what to do," Sei said.  "I want to talk to her, but I'm scared to talk to her, and I don't know what to say when I do get to talk to her, and. . ."

Doyeon took Sei's hand in both of hers.  "Just calm down and breathe," she said.  "There's nothing you can do about this right now anyway, because Yoojung's asleep.  So why don't you go ahead and go to sleep, and maybe in the morning things will be clearer."

Sei nodded.  "Thanks unnie," she said, her eyes glistening.  "I hope things look better in the morning, because I just don't know what to do."  And with that, she jumped up and ran off to her bed before Doyeon could see her crying.

As Doyeon finished cleaning up after her late night snack, Elly came into the kitchen.  

"You've heard what's going on?" Elly asked.

Doyeon nodded.  "From both sides.  It's just. . ."  She let out an extended sigh.  "I know it's not my problem, but if kind of is, because they're my friends and my roommates and my bandmates.  And you being involved in this affair doesn't make things any easier."

"I just. . . " Elly started to try to explain.

Doyeon waved her off.  "No, it's okay.  You don't have to explain.  I know how you are with Yoojung - for you she's like catnip and kryptonite, rolled into one.  Frankly I'm surprised you stayed away from her as long as you did.  It's just. . . your timing really sucks, you know?"  Doyeon looked at Elly, who was nodding frantically.

"I know," Elly said.  "And I know my judgement's not clear at all with this, so I'm trying to stay out of it, but I'm just so tempted."  She stopped and took a deep breath.  "Part of me wants to help get them together.  And part of me wants to keep them apart so I can try to get back with Yoojung.  And part of me wants to keep them apart so I can try to seduce Sei.  And part of me knows I should just leave both of them alone and stay out of the whole thing."

"And that's the part you should listen to," Doyeon said, nodding emphatically.  "But let me guess - it's the smallest part."

Elly nodded.  "You know what I'm like.  Especially where Yoojung is concerned.  I know what's the right thing to do, but I have such a hard time actually doing it.

"Yeah, I know," Doyeon said.  She let out a long sigh.  "I probably should stay out of this, but you know how I am - always trying to help.  So you stay out of this, and I'll do my best to steer Yoojung and Sei toward the best outcome, whatever that might be."

Elly caught Doyeon up in a hug.  "Thank you!  Thank you so much!"

"But I mean it," Doyeon said, struggling to extricate herself from Elly's embrace, "you've got to stay out of this.  It's going to be hard enough to fix without you throwing everybody further off balance.  Now I'd better get to bed - we've got a long day of promos tomorrow, and I've got a lot of troubleshooting to do before that even starts."

Elly nodded, clasping her hands in front of her and looking contrite.  "Thanks Doyeon.  I really owe you one."

Doyeon laughed quietly.  "You owed me so many before this, what's one more, right?"  And with that she went off to her bedroom.  After leaving one note on Sei's nightstand and another on Yoojung's, she got dressed for bed and climbed under her duvet.

 

* * *

 

"Sei, I need to talk to you FIRST THING tomorrow morning. Wake me up before you go on your run. Doyeon"

Wondering what Doyeon needed to talk to her about that was so urgent, Sei tiptoed across the bedroom and woke up her unnie.  Doyeon squinted at the tiny square of light from Sei's bedside lamp.  "What time is it?  Is it time to get up already?"

"It's 5 AM," Sei said, "about the time I'd normally be leaving for my run, if not for unnies leaving mysterious notes."

Doyeon nodded.  "Let me throw on some clothes," she said quietly, "and we can talk while we run."

"Well, hurry up," Sei said, "I'm about ready to go."  

"OK," Doyeon said, "just give me two minutes and I'll be ready."  Doyeon pointed at her dresser, where Sei saw she already had her exercise clothes laid out.

Sei went out to the common room and put on her shoes, then started stretching while she was waiting for Doyeon.  She thought it was pretty funny how she'd spent months trying to get her members to go running with her, now all of a sudden she had two people wanting to go running with her on consecutive days.  She wondered what Doyeon's problem was - she knew better than to chalk this up to a sudden bout of health-consciousness.

"Let's go," Doyeon said as she tied her shoes, snapping Sei out of her reverie.

As they headed down the street, Sei stretched her legs as she ran, enjoying the feeling of exercise.  "So," she asked, looking over at Doyeon, "what brings you out for a run this morning?"

Doyeon smiled.  "What?  I can't just decide I want to go for a run with one of my members?"

"Well, sure, you can," Sei admitted, "it's just that you never have is all.  If I didn't know better, I'd think you had something you wanted to talk to me about that you didn't want the other members to hear."  She threw a wink to Doyeon.

Doyeon laughed.  "Guilty as charged.  I've just been thinking some more about what you said yesterday, and I was wondering if you had any idea what you want to do?"

Sei nodded.  "I know exactly what I want to do," she said.  She shook her head.  "I can't believe I'm saying this, but I want to be with Yoojung.  I've got to find a way to work things out with her."

"I kind of figured you'd decide that," Doyeon said.  "I don't know how I've ended up in the middle of this, but I'm going to help you."

Sei swerved over to give Doyeon a one-armed hug as they ran.  "That's great unnie!  Thank you so much!"  Suddenly she fell silent and her smile vanished.  "What do I do now?"

"Nothing right now," Doyeon said.  "I'm going to talk to Yoojung later this morning, see where her mind is, and try to come up with a strategy for you then.  You just stay away from her as much as you can - you know, without looking like you're trying to stay away from her.  Fortunately, we've got kind of a light schedule today:  Dance practice, then an appearance, then we're going to be on Knowing Brothers tonight."

A look of panic crossed Sei's face.  "Knowing Brothers?  That's today?"

Doyeon nodded.  "Yeah.  Why?  What's wrong with Knowing Brothers?"

"It's just. . . they're just. . ."  Sei shrugged.  "I don't know.  They're just - I always feel like they can see inside my mind."

"Now you're just being paranoid," Doyeon said.  "They're just a little more prepared than the average host.  Besides, there's no way they could know about this - it wouldn't even be on their radar.  Remember?  As far as anyone outside the group knows, we're all straight."

"Oh yeah," Sei said, looking slightly more relieved.

"So let's head back to the dorm," Doyeon said.  "Yoojung should be waking up now, so I can start talking with her while you go shower."

"Thanks, Doyeon," Sei said.  "I don't know how I'll ever repay you."

"Don't go thanking me yet - I don't know for sure I'll be able to fix this.  But I'll do my best."  Doyeon pasted on her most competent looking face, hoping that Sei couldn't see through it to how uncertain she was about this situation.

 

* * *

 

Yoojung woke  up and looked around the room.  Sei was gone, which was expected, but Doyeon was also gone, which was out of the ordinary.  Shrugging, she got out of bed and started getting dressed.  Just as she finished, Doyeon came in, totally drenched in sweat.

"What's this?"  Yoojung asked.  "You just happened to decide to get healthy all of a sudden?  And you just happened to decide that running with Sei was the best way to get healthy?"

Doyeon laughed.  "Can't slip anything past you, can I?"

"So you've apparently decided to get in the middle of this?"

Doyeon nodded.  "Something like that.  At any rate, I'm in the middle of it, whether I want to be or not."

"Well," Yoojung said as she stretched her legs, "if you want to talk to me about it, you'll have to go for a run with me."

Doyeon rolled her eyes.  "You're kidding."

Yoojung shook her head.  "Nope.  If you want to talk about this, you've got to run."

Doyeon narrowed her eyes.  "You're just loving this moment of power, aren't you?"

"I didn't say that," Yoojung said as she headed out to put on her shoes.

"You don't have to," Doyeon grumbled and she trudged out after her.

 

* * *

 

"Okay," Doyeon said, "we're about a mile from the dorm.  Now are we far away from the dorm that we can talk."

Yoojung looked around.  "Yeah, this should just about do."  She took a random right turn.  She stopped halfway up the block, just in front of a bar, currently closed, gaily festooned with rainbow banners.  A light of recognition dawned in Doyeon's eyes when she came to a stop next to Yoojung.

"Do you remember when we first moved to Seoul?" Yoojung asked.  Doyeon nodded, not seeing where this was going.  "We used to sneak out to come here every chance we got.  And every night was a party, and you never you who you'd end up making out with, or how many girls you'd end up making out with, and at the end of the night, you didn't know or care if you'd ever see them again."

Doyeon nodded, still trying to catch her breath after her second run of the day.

"Elly reminded me of that.  I'd forgotten what it was like, but that's what I want.  That carefree feeling.  That lack of restraints."  Yoojung looked up at Doyeon, wanting to be sure she'd gotten her point across.

Doyeon looked around, taking in their surrounding more fully.  "Yes, I remember all that.  But apparently you've forgotten the nights where you didn't find anyone.  The nights where you cried on my shoulder all the way back to the dorm because the girl you wanted didn't want you.  I'm sure your flirting skills have leveled up since then, but still, this is the worst possible time for for this."

"What do you mean?" Yoojung asked, raising one eyebrow.  "After yesterday, I'm not dating anyone.  It's the perfect time for a vigorous round of barhopping and bedhopping."

"But you're forgetting something," Doyeon said.  "You're forgetting that just before this, I went out running with Sei, to try to find out where she's planning to go with this."

"And?"

"And she's got it bad for you," Doyeon said.  "Real bad.  She's determined that she's going to make things right between the two of you and get you back together again."

Yoojung was silent.

Doyeon pressed on.  "And so now, after everything you did to get this girl, you've decided you don't want her?  That's cold, Yoojung.  You can't just toss people aside like that."

"So. . . now I have to date her forever just because I wanted her once?"

Doyeon pressed her fingertips to her temples.  "Why is it every time I get involved in your love life, I end up getting a headache?  Yes, you wanted her once, and I think you want her still.  It's just your pride is hurt from learning that the others were conspiring against you."

Yoojung didn't say she was wrong.


	9. A Fight for Love and Glory

Dance practice went smoothly, and then the appearance - they were both kept busy enough that there was no chance for Sei and Yoojung to talk.  They each noticed the other one looking at her from time to time, while Doyeon watched them and tried to decide what the best course of action would be, and Elly looked at them and tried to keep her vows to keep her hands to herself.  Suyeon and Lucy only had eyes for each other, of course, and the maknaes were off in their own little world.  Then, after a hurried dinner of ramen, came the part of the day that Sei had been dreading - their appearance on Knowing Bros.

As Sei had expected, the questions on Knowing Bros were a lot like regular interview questions, but with enough of a twist that they were kept off balance and sometimes said things they didn't mean say.  The worst part was the "Guess the Drama Line" segment - all the lines selected were from romance dramas, and seemingly all from the saddest scenes.  Sei ended up crying so hard she was started laughing; Doyeon comforted her and told a story - which wasn't too far from the truth - about how Sei loved romance dramas and that she was the member most likely to cry at the sad parts.

Finally the episode was over.  They were milling around, waiting for their van to take them back to the dorm, when Suyeon pulled Doyeon to the side for a second.

"I heard from Elly that you're trying to fix the problems  that we made - thanks for that," Suyeon said quietly.

Doyeon patted the leader on her arm.  "I'm doing my best, but you haven't really left me with a good situation to work with.  Maybe next time come talk to me before you screw things up?"

Suyeon laughed mirthlessly.  "Yeah, that probably would have been the thing to do, wouldn't it?"

Doyeon nodded.  "Anyway, here's where things stand right now:  Sei wants desperately to get back with Yoojung.  Yoojung thinks she wants to be single, but I don't think she's really sure.  Elly, as per usual, doesn't know what she wants, but she probably wants everything.  So I've get Elly under orders to stay away from Sei and Yoojung, and Sei and Yoojung under orders to stay away from each other, and I'm hoping I can come up with a plan."

"I'm sure you will," Suyeon said.  "If any of us can, it's you."  She fixed Doyeon with a weak smile, then gave her a hug and went to go stand by Lucy.

"I hope you're right," Doyeon said to herself, "because right now I don't know what the hell I'm going to do." 

 

* * *

 

Doyeon was sitting on the couch after everyone had gone to bed, watching a field hockey match, when Sei came quietly out of the  bedroom to see her.

"Ummmm, unnie?  Do you mind if I join you?" she asked tentatively.

"Not at all," Suyeon said.  She grabbed the remote and turned off the TV.  "I can't really get into the game tonight anyway."  She patted the couch next to her.  "Come have a seat and we can talk."

Sei came and sat on the couch next to Doyeon, pulling her legs up and wrapping her arms around them.  "I couldn't sleep," she said quietly, "and I wanted to see if you could tell me what Yoojung said when you talked to her."

Doyeon sighed quietly.  "Yoojung. . .  Yoojung. . . Yoojung's not sure what she wants."

"But," Sei protested, "I though she wanted me!  She tried so hard to get me. . . "

"And now that she's got you, she'd not sure she made the right choice," Doyeon said.  "Weki Meki has kept Yoojung too busy to date much, and you never knew her when we were trainees.  When we were trainees, we'd sneak out least once every week.  And every few weeks, Yoojung would get a huge crush on some girl, and she had to have her, and she'd die if she had to live without her" - Sei giggled softly at Doyeon's melodramatic impression of Yoojung - "and then she'd get her, and within a couple of weeks they were breaking up and Yoojung would be crushing on a new girl."

Sei scowled.  "So I'm just another conquest for her?  Is that how it is?"

Doyeon shook her head.  "No, its not like that at all.  Yoojung doesn't even realize she's doing it.  She just gets caught up in the thrill of the chase and gets bored easily once she has what she wanted."

"So does this mean there's no hope for us?" Sei asked, tears welling up in her eyes.

Doyeon laid her hand comfortingly on Sei's shoulder.  "Not no hope, exactly.  I just want you to be aware that the worst case is far more likely than you'd want it to be."

Sei nodded.  "Well, I guess I'd better get to bed - we've got a big day tomorrow."  Stopping on her way to give Doyeon a hug, Sei headed off to bed.

Doyeon sat on the couch staring after her.  "I hope you know what you're doing, Yoojung, because you're breaking the heart of the sweetest girl in the world."

 

* * *

 

The next morning, Doyeon woke up to someone shaking her arm.  Looking around, she saw that she'd fallen asleep on the couch and that Yoojung was shaking her arm.

"Come on, Doyeon," Yoojung was saying, "we need to go for a run."

Doyeon shook her head.  "No.  Maybe you need to go for one, but I don't."

Yoojung drew herself up to her full height, then went up on her tiptoes a little bit to try to make herself taller.  "Kim Doyeon, I'm your unnie, and I'm telling you that you need to go for a run."

Doyeon laughed and threw a cushion at Yoojung.  "You're not even a month older than me," she said with a laugh, "but if it's the only way I can get some peace, I'll go for a run with you."

"Great!  Let's go!" 

"Wait a second," Doyeon said, uncurling herself from the couch.  "I've got to go to the bathroom and get dressed."

"Well hurry up," Yoojung whined.  "We've got to get going!"

Doyeon stood up and headed for the bathroom.  "Considering I just this second found out we were going, I think you're doing got that I'm moving at all."

Yoojung put on her shoes and paced around the entryway, waiting for Doyeon to be ready.  Finally, after what seemed like forever, Doyeon came to put her shoes on, which took her just a matter of seconds.  Soon after, they were on the stairs, heading down to the street.

"So I'm guessing you've got something you want to tell me," Doyeon said.

"Sort of," Yoojung said with a shrug.  "Maybe?  I don't know."

"Well, stop being uncertain about it and tell me what it is."

Yoojung nodded decisively as she picked up the pace slightly.  "I've decided that I want to try to get back together with Sei."

Doyeon looked shocked, then uncertain.  "Even after the way your relationship with her started?"

Yoojung nodded again.  "We can't always control how things start, and she never had anything but good intentions.  I think we'll be a great couple."

Doyeon had to wait until they'd passed another group of runners before she could talk again.  "And you're not going to lose interest in her, add her to your collection"?

"What do you mean?" Yoojung asked.

Doyeon started counting off names on her fingers.  "Eun-ji, Min-ji, Ji-min, Ya-Eun, Ji-Eun, the other Min-ji. . . Do I need to go on?"

Yoojung scowled up at Doyeon.  "Those were all years ago.  I've changed since then."

Doyeon raised an eyebrow.  "Have you?"

Yoojung nodded.  "You'll see.  I'll be the best girlfriend she's ever had!"

Doyeon laughed.  "You're the only girlfriend she's ever had!"

"You know what I mean!" Yoojung snapped.  Just then she spotted a flower vendor in the market ahead of them.  "I'll meet you back at the dorm.  I've got to go buy my girlfriend some flowers."

"Okay.  See you later!"  Doyeon turned and headed back toward the dorm, alternating between mentally high-fiving herself and worrying that she'd made the situation worse.


	10. A Case of Do or Die

Sei tried to put Doyeon's warning out of her mind, but she couldn't help it - whether she wanted to or not, she couldn't help but notice whenever Yoojung looked at another girl.  Sei would find herself mentally comparing herself to the other girl, wondering where she was falling short that Yoojung was looked at someone else, and just generally making herself miserable.  She was brought back from her woolgathering by Yoojung bumping her with her shoulder.

"Earth to Sei," Yoojung said, "Come in, Sei.  Are you there?"

Sei let out a nervous chuckle.  "Yeah, I'm here.  I've just. . .  got a lot on my mind, you know?"

"Exactly," Yoojung said, "and we're down here for a walk by the lake in the moonlight, I would hope you'd have your mind on me."

Sei leaned down and gave Yoojung a quick kiss.  "I do.  I just. . . I've got a lot of things worrying me." 

"Worrying you?  I don't like the sound of that," Yoojung said.  "Why don't you let me help you figure out what to do about these things that are worrying you?"

Sei shook her head quickly.  "No, it's not like that," she protested.  "It's nothing anyone can help me with.  It's just something I have to figure out for myself."

"O--kay," Yoojung said, only somewhat pacified, "well, if you decide you do need help with these things, I'm right here."

Sei put her arm around Yoojung and pulled her in for a side hug.  "If I decide I need someone else's help, you'll be the first to know."

After walking a little bit further, they decided to cut their evening short and head back to the dorm.  Sei let Yoojung help her into her pajamas and tuck her into bed - this had become their regular pattern since they'd gotten back together a few days previously.  But while Sei knew Yoojung was just trying to take care of her and make sure she got enough rest, another part of her couldn't help wondering if there was some other reason Yoojung wanted her out of the way.

Yoojung leaned forward and gave Sei a kiss.  "Good night," she said.  "I'll see you tomorrow, and I hope you feel better then."

Sei nodded.  "What are you going to be doing?"

Jooyung laughed.  "Are you kidding?  I've got the TV all to myself - I'm going to watch some of my historical dramas that none of you will watch with me.  I'm just dying to see what those costumes look like on a screen bigger than my phone."

"Well, you enjoy," Sei said, smiling.  She was determined to believe in Yoojung and not let the things Doyeon had told her about Yoojung's history poison their relationship, but she still couldn't help but notice when Yoojung made it almost to the door, then hurried back to get her phone.

 

* * *

 

 Yoojung turned off the TV, then dropped the remote on the table.  She rolled over on her back and stared up at the ceiling.  Something was wrong, and she didn't know what it was, so she didn't know how to fix it.  But something was definitely wrong between her and Sei.  She glanced over at the clock.  They should have been still out for the evening, probably stopping for a last coffee before rushing to take it back to the dorm by curfew.  Instead, they'd already been back for an hour and Sei had gone straight to bed when she suggested it.  Yoojung's brow furrowed - something was definitely wrong here.  It was like Sei was putting up a wall between them, some sort of barrier that hadn't been there before.  Sei's openness had been one of the things that had first drawn Yoojung to her, and now that openness was going away.  Something was wrong.

Just then Yoojung heard the apartment door open and her other members spill into the room, all rushing to get back to the dorm before curfew.  Seeing that the TV was off and the couch apparently unoccupied, Doyeon jumped over the back of the couch, and only narrowly missed landing on Yoojung by some midair scrambling once she saw the couch was occupied.

"Watch what you're doing!" Doyeon said.  "You almost made me twist my ankle!"

"Watch what I'm doing?" Yoojung laughed as she sat up.  "Yes, heaven forbid I lie here on the couch like a civilized person-"

"With the TV off like some kind of weirdo," Doyeon interjected.  "And why aren't you with Sei?"

Yoojung's face fell.  "I wish I knew.  Something wrong, and I can't put my finger on it, and she won't say what's bothering her, and it's just. . . it's bad, you know?"

Doyeon sat down on the couch by Yoojung, unconsciously matching her volume and energy level of Yoojung's.  "Maybe you two weren't as perfect together as you thought.  I don't know.  I mean, it wouldn't be the first time a relationship hasn't worked out for you."

Yoojung shook her head.  "No, this is different.  I never felt this way about any of the other girls I was with, not even when I was with Elly.  I've never cared this much for anyone before - I don't know what I'll do if she breaks up with me."

Doyeon put on a puzzled expression.  "Even after learning the way things started out between, you feel that way?"

Yoojung nodded.  "Even after.  Even though she was deceiving me at first, she wasn't doing it to hurt me, you know?  It's just - she was trying to protect Weki Meki.  How can I be mad at her for that?"

Doyeon gave the appearance of thinking for a moment.  "So. . . do you think maybe she heard about you?"

Yoojung lowered her eyebrows.  "What about me?"

"Well, you know, your history.  She saw you with Elly, and maybe she heard about what you were like before Elly. . ."  Doyeon raised her hands as if to defend herself.

Yoojung leaned forward.  "Kim Doyeon, if you've sabotaged my relationship with Sei. . ."

Doyeon leaned further back.  "No, I swear, I never would. . ."

Yoojung appeared mollified.  "You better not have. . ."  Yoojung stood up.  "I'll talk to you later - I'm going to go check on her."

 

* * *

 

When Sei's alarm went off the next morning, she had trouble reaching her phone to turn it off - apparently Yoojung had climbed into bed with her during the night.  After climbing halfway over Yoojung to turn off the alarm, she fell back into bed and looked down at her.  Even in her sleep, something was troubling Yoojung.  Her eyebrows were scrunched together and she had a vicious scowl on her face.  Sei gently stroked the side of her face until she appeared to calm down into a quieter sleep.

"I guess it won't hurt me to miss one day's run," Sei said to herself.  "If need be I can skip lunch."  She laid back down next to Yoojung and cuddled up to her.

When Sei next awoke, the sun was up and Yoojung was gone.  A glance at her phone told her it had been a couple of hours since her alarm had gone off.  She got up and wandered out into the kitchen.  Suyeon was sitting at the table eating a tangerine, and from the sound of it, the rest of the apartment was empty.

"Where is everyone?" Sei asked.

Suyeon shrugged.  "They all had a last-minute errands to run before the day started.  You practically never sleep in, so Yoojung figured you needed the rest and told the rest of us to let you sleep."

Sei turned on the kettle to heat water for tea, then picked up a tangerine and sat down by Suyeon as she was peeling it.  "Unnie," she said, "I need some advice."

Suyeon looked concerned.  "What's going on?"

Sei wouldn't look up to meet her eyes.  "I've heard about what Yoojung was like in the past, before she was in Weki Meki.  Do you think she's still like that?  Do you think she's going to get bored of me and move on to the next girl who catches her eye?"

Suyeon slowly chewed a piece of tangerine while she thought.  "There's no way of knowing.  And I don't know if it would do any good to talk to Yoojung about it, because I don't even know if she's aware.  On the other hand, it might help."  Suyeon broke off another piece of tangerine and popped in her mouth.  "I really don't know what to tell you.  I wish I did."

Just then the kettle went off.  Sei laid her hand on Suyeon's arm.  "Thanks, Suyeon.  Even if you don't think you did, you helped."  

 

* * *

 

Yoojung looked around the frozen yogurt shop that Sei had insisted they come to.  She looked down at her yogurt and poked at it with her spoon, then she looked up at Sei.  "So you're breaking up with me."

Sei choked on a bite of yogurt.  When she was able to talk again, she still wasn't entirely coherent.  "What?  Yes.  Wait.  How did you. . . "

"I know the drill," Yoojung said.  "Brightly lit so I don't get any ideas.  Public, so I won't make a scene.  It's like something straight out of Cosmo."

Sei looked down at the bite of yogurt on her spoon, brought it halfway to her mouth a couple of times, then gave up and dropped it back in the bowl.  "Yeah, you're right."

Yoojung nodded.  She sat quietly, stirring her yogurt for a moment, before looking up at Sei.  "Do I at least get to know why?"

Sei nodded.  "Yes.  It's just. . . I just . . . Dammit!"

Yoojung reached out and took Sei's hand.  "Just calm down and tell me.  You're doing fine."

Sei sniffled and wiped her eyes.  "This is even harder than I thought it was going to be."  She took a deep breath and let it out slowly.  "I just can't do this anymore, Yoojung.  I love you, but I can't handle this feeling anymore. . . "

After Sei was silent for a moment, Yoojung prompted her.  "What feeling?"

Sei leaned forward, her eyes sparking with intensity.  "The feeling like I'm living on borrowed time.  Like I'm walking on eggshells.  Like you could leave me at any moment!"  She sat back, blinking back her tears.

"But-" Yoojung was, uncharacteristically, at a loss for words.  "But I said- I thought- We-"

Sei shook her head, cutting off Yoojung's faltering stream of attempts to put her thoughts into words.  "You've got to know that you've got a reputation, based on your past history.  Some of our seniors-"

Yoojung leaned forward intensely.  "It was Doyeon, wasn't it?  I told her I'm not like that anymore.  I told her not to tell you about it."

"It wasn't Doyeon-" Sei began, only to back up and revise after seeing the skeptical look on Yoojung's face.  "Well, not just Doyeon.  And not all in Weki Meki.  Do you know what it's like to have members of other groups come up to you backstage at shows and tell you that they're worried about you, that they're worried your girlfriend is going to break your heart?  Because I do, and I can't live like this anymore."

"But-" Yoojung began.

"Please don't make this any harder than it already is," Sei said, looking down sadly.  When she looked up again, her eyes glistened.  "I'm sure if I gave you a chance you'd say you've changed, you'd say it's different with me,  and maybe you have, maybe it is.  But I can't take that chance.  I've got to get out of this now, before I've invested any more of myself in this relationship, before it gets too hard, before you break my heart.  I'd like to still be your friend, if you'll let me, but I can't be your girlfriend.  I just can't."  Sei gathered up her jacket and purse and stood up.  "I think we both need to be alone with our thoughts right now.  I'll see you when you get back to the dorm.  Take care of yourself."

Yoojung sat and watched Sei walk away, her bowl of frozen yogurt melting in front of her.  She'd been expecting this, but that didn't make it any easier.  She'd heard all of this before, most recently from Elly, but that didn't make it any easier to hear.  Yoojung sniffled slightly as she cleaned up the napkins scattered around their table and left the yogurt shop.  It wasn't fair, she thought to herself.  She'd changed.  Well, maybe she'd changed.  She thought she had, but she wouldn't know for sure unless someone was willing to give her a chance to prove it.


	11. This World Will Always Welcome Lovers

Yoojung looked around the bar, spotted Sei on the dancefloor with someone she didn't recognize.  She looked down at her beer and laughed quietly at herself.  After she and Sei had broken up, she'd worried about Sei.  Sei had grown up more sheltered than Yoojung and was in many ways still innocent in the ways of the world.  So when Sei started going out to bars on their nights off, Yoojung started shadowing her.  Several times she'd driven off girls that she knew were players and would only break Sei's heart.  After a while, Yoojung knew that Sei knew she was there, and soon after that, Sei said "Why don't we just go to the bar together?  You can be my wingwoman, and it'll save both of us the trouble of pretending I don't know you're there.  Besides, isn't that what friends do?"

Yoojung smiled weakly.  "Yeah, it is."

Sei reached out and pulled Yoojung into a side hug.  "It'll be fun."  Sei had noticed that ever since they had broken up, that Yoojung had been more fragile, had needed more reassurance that they were still friends.

Yoojung was snapped back to the present by the sound of the bartender putting a drink down in front of her.  She looked down at a pink monstrosity, topped by a paper umbrella and pineapple on skewers.  

"It's from the lady in red at the other end of the bar," the bartender said, before moving off to answer another customer's summons.

Yoojung looked for her mysterious benefactress and saw Jeon Somi at the other end of the bar, clutching an identical drink.  Yoojung moved down to sit next to her.

"So what are you up to tonight?" Somi asked.

"Oh, just playing wingwoman for my friend," Yoojung said.

"Which leaves you with no one to play wingwoman for you," Somi said, "which is a shame because there's a girl over there who'd be perfect for you."

"Where?" Yoojung turned and looked, wondering who Somi had in mind for her.  She saw to her surprise that Somi was pointing at Sei.  Yoojung shook her head, "No, not her."

"What are you talking about?" Somi asked.  "I know your type and she's perfect for you."

"She's too perfect," Yoojung said quietly.  "We dated for a while, it didn't work out."

"And you're just giving up?" Somi asked.  "This doesn't sound like the Yoojung I know."

Yoojung turned back to face Somi.  "In case you haven't noticed, she's one of my members, so even if I was inclined to keep chasing her, which I'm not saying I am, there's the good of the group to think about."

Somi put on a display of shocked disbelief.  "Can it be?  The girl's finally been found who can capture the heart of Choi Yoojung, playgirl extraordinaire?"

"She has," Yoojung said sardonically, "and she won't have me."

Somi leaned in toward Yoojung, face all serious concern.  "Oh, Yoojung.  I'm so sorry.  I had no idea.  I never would have joked about it if I had known-"

"That's okay," Yoojung said, cutting off Somi's extended apology.  "It is what it is, and I've come to terms with it.  Remember when I said I was here playing wingwoman for my friend?"

Somi's eyes got wide.  "No!" she exclaimed.  "You're here as wingwoman for your ex?  Your ex who you obviously still have feelings for?  Choi Yoojung, you're a better woman than I could ever be."

Yoojung shrugged and took a sip of her drink.  "I just want her to be happy," she said.  "Obviously I'd prefer for that to be with me, but since it can't, I just want to protect her, you know?"

The look of surprise on Somi's face morphed into one of awe.  "That's got to be the sweetest thing I've ever heard!  Yoojung, will you be my ex-girlfriend?"

"Any time," Yoojung said, leaning and giving Somi a kiss on the cheek.

 

* * *

 

Yookung and Somi spend the rest of the evening hanging out together, drinking and dancing, keeping each other caught up on what they've been up to post-I.O.I.  About an hour before curfew, Yoojung noticed a bit of movement out of the corner of her eye and saw Sei waving good-bye to her as she left the club on the arm of a statuesque blonde.

Somi, seeing where Yoojung was looking, looked over just in time to see the beautiful couple leaving the club.  She whistled appreciatively.  "Well, she's got taste, I'll give her that."

"Yeah," Yoojung agreed.  "Sei's quite the catch."

Somi almost choked on her drink.  "I was talking about the blonde goddess she was leaving with, but yeah, Sei's a catch too.  Anyone who can capture your heart has got to be someone special."

"That girl she was with looked familiar.  Have we seen her somewhere before?"  Yoojung was sure she had, but she just wasn't able to place where.

Somi shrugged.  "She does look kind of familiar - there are so many rookie groups out right now, she could be in any number of them.  I'm sure you'll recognize her eventually."  She checked the time on her phone.  "But enough about them.  We've got enough 5 minutes before I have to leave in order to get back to my dorm before curfew, and I want you to spend it dancing with me."

Yoojung and Some headed to the dance floor, hand in hand.  They both knew they were too much alike to ever be able to date, but they were good friends and always had a good time when they were out together.  As the song ended, the headed out to catch taxis back to their dorms.  As they waited, Somi turned to Yoojung and said "I hope Sei realizes how lucky she is - not everyone has someone like you who can love them but then let them go."

Yoojung looked down.  "Thanks.  That's. . . I wish, you know.  I wish things were different, but they're not, so I'm trying to make the best of the situation as it is."

Somi reached over and gave Yoojung a hug, then stepped away as her cab arrived.  "I'll call you," she said.  "Be good to yourself."

Yoojung nodded and blinked away tears as she waved good-bye.

 

* * *

 

It was two minutes to curfew.  Yoojung was sitting on the couch with Doyeon and Elly talking about how they'd spent their evening off.  At the last possible minute, Sei came in.  She waved to her unnies as she headed to the bathroom to take off her makeup.  A few minutes later she passed back through on her way to her bedroom, the smell of an unfamiliar perfumed lingering in the air after she was gone.  Yoojung waited several minutes and then, with a studied nonchalance that fooled no one, followed Sei into the bedroom.

Sei was sitting on her bed, watching the bedroom door.  As soon as Yoojung stepped through the door, Sei stopped the stopwatch on her phone.  "Four minutes, 13 seconds," she announced.  "I really thought today would be the day you'd make it five minutes to come see what I'd been up to."

"Are you kidding?" Yoojung asked as she sat down on the bed next to Sei.  "Tonight was the first time you left the club with somebody and you expect me to be all nonchalant?  I want to hear about this mystery woman that caught your eye."

"All right, Mom," Sei said, the affectionate teasing obvious in her voice.  "Her name is Park Jiwon.  I'm surprised you didn't recognize her.  You've seen her before - she's the leader of Everglow.  After we left the club, we went out for chicken.  She was a perfect lady, and she even asked for permission before kissing me good night."

"She sounds really great.  I'd like to meet her sometime."

Sei recognized the hint of sadness beneath Jooyung's forced ethusiasm.  She reached out and clasped Yoojung's hands in hers.  "Hey.  Listen, I don't want to hurt you.  If you don't want to ever hear about her, you don't have to."

Yoojung shook her head as she wiped away a stray tear.  "No," she said, "I wouldn't want that.  I just want you to be happy.  I wish it could be with me, but since it can't, I just want you to be with someone who's good enough for you."

Sei caught Yoojung up in a hug.  "Yoojung, someday you're going to find the right woman for you, and she's going to be so lucky.  Sometimes I still wish it could be me, but I know it can't.  But somewhere out there is a woman who's going to get so lucky and she doesn't even know it yet."

Yoojung clung tightly to Sei in order to hide her tears.  "You're to give me a swelled head if you keep that up," she said.  "But enough about me - I want to hear more about this Park Jiwon!"

And so for the next hour Sei told Yoojung all about Jiwon.  By the time she was done, Yoojung knew everything from Jiwon's television preferences ( _Law of the Jungle_ and _Running Man_ ) to her food dislikes (raisin and peppers).  And while Yoojung felt sad at the idea of Sei being this excited about someone other than her, she also felt happy at seeing Sei so happy.  And if she cried herself to sleep that night, well, how would that be different from most other nights?


	12. Epilogue:  As Time Goes By

The members of Weki Meki were together, celebrating Sei's last night as a single woman.  Sei knew that somewhere else the members of Everglow were doing the same for Jiwon, but she didn't know that Suyeon and Everglow's Sihyeon had carefully planned things to be sure that the two bachelorette parties would never be at the same place at the same time.  They were starting at the park across the street from Weki Meki's old dorm.

If anyone had seen them, they would have looked like any other group of women in their late-20s, maybe university friends, out for a night on the town.  It had been 5 years since Weki Meki's last comeback - they had never officially disbanded, but Fantagio had stopped supporting them so they eventually drifted off into doing other things.  Sei had opened a restaurant, serving all organic food.  Elly had opened a bookstore.  Suyeon and Yoojung took up acting.  Doyeon had stuck with modeling, becoming the first Korean supermodel.  Lua, Rina, and Lucy had all become solo singers; none of them were as successful as solo acts as Weki Meki had been as a group, but they released new music fairly regularly and Lucy was a seemingly ever-present guest on variety shows.

Before the evening's festivities started, Sei took a moment to pull Yoojung aside.

"What's wrong?" Yoojung asked.  "You look worried.  You're not getting cold feet are you?"

Sei shook her head.  "No, never.  It's just that. . . well. . . I need to ask a favor of you."

"Sure, what is it?" 

"Why don't you wait and find out what it is before you say yes," Sei said.  "Remember I told you that there was some uncertainty about whether or not my mom was coming?"

Yoojung nodded, not at all sure where this was going.

"Well," Sei went on, "it's not uncertain anymore - she's definitely not coming."

Yoojung enfolded Sei in a  comforting hug.  "Oh, sweetie, I'm sure she'll come around eventually.  She can't keep pushing you away forever, can she?"

"You don't know my mother," Sei said, shaking her head sadly.  "Anywhere, here's where you come in.  During the ceremony, after the celebrant says 'I now pronounce you married,' the mother of the bride hands the bride a gourd full of wine and the newly married couple drink from it.  I need someone to play the role of mother of the bride tomorrow, and I was hoping you would do it."

"Couldn't Jiwon's mother be the mother of the bride?  I mean, you're both. . ." Yoojung's confusion was practically written on her face.

Sei shook her head.  "We drew lots.  My mother is the mother of the bride, her mother is the mother of the groom.  And anyway, neither one of our mothers is going to be there, so she's having to ask one of her members to play the mother of the groom's role in the ceremony."

This settled it for Yoojung.  "I'll do it, but I'm not buying you furniture."

Sei laughed.  "I didn't expect that you would - we're not going that old-school with the ceremony!"

Just then Lucy popped up and put her arms around their shoulders.  "Come on, you two.  Time to move on to the first event of the evening!"

 

* * *

 

The ceremony went off without a hitch.  Yoojung played the role of mother of the bride, while Everglow's Miya played the mother of the groom.  After the ceremony was over, the photographer assembled them all for the formal wedding portraits:  First the entire wedding party:  The members of Weki Meki except Lucy were bridesmaids and the members of Everglow, plus Lucy, who'd been shifted to the other side so the numbers would come out even, were the "other bridesmaids," as Lucy persisted in describing them.  Everyone was wearing formal hanbok, presenting a joyous assortment of color.  Next came the picture of the happy couple with the two "mothers," then the happy couple with the maids of honor, then finally the Sei and Jiwon by themselves.  After the photographs were finished, everyone quickly changed into Western-style dresses for the banquet.

The guests were almost entirely people that the brides had worked with during their K-pop careers:  Both blood families were boycotting the event, showing that as far as Korea had come since Sei and Jiwon had started dating, it still had a long way to go.

The guests formed a line and passed by the head table one by one, each giving Sei and Jiwon their best wishes along with a white envelope containing the traditional gift of money.  By the time they had all passed by, the happy couple was almost hidden behind the stack of envelopes and they were starving - Jiwon had been too nervous to eat breakfast that morning, and Sei had only had a tangerine and a cup of tea.  Fortunately, the master of ceremonies had been keeping an eye on things and the food began to be brought in exactly as the end of the receiving line passed.  Miya put the gift envelopes in a satchel to be opened later, and everyone sat down to eat.

After the meal, it was time for dancing and karaoke.  Sei was pleased that all the members of Weki Meki still remembered all the group's songs and dances.  "If there are still any Ki-Lings who remember us," she thought to herself, "I bet they'd love to see this."

Long before anyone was tired of the music, the MC announced that it was almost time to cut the cake - but the first Sei had to throw her bouquet.  The bridesmaids, the "other bridesmaids," and the single women among the guests were all brought together in a group.  Sei turned her back to them and threw the bouquet.  It flew in a graceful arc, falling in the center of the group of women.  To everyone's surprise, when the bouquet stopped falling, it was in Yoojung's hand.

After the cutting of the cake and much more dancing, the festivities eventually came to an end.  The two brides were packed into a car to start their honeymoon.  The guests milled around, wishing each other well, commenting on what a lovely ceremony it had been, and promising not to wait so long before next time they got together, until finally the event staff had to sweep them out of the banquet hall so that the cleanup could begin.  As they said their last goodbyes and left for wherever they were headed next, Yoojung found herself waiting with Suyeon for Lucy to finish saying good-bye to people.  Yoojung was still holding on to Sei's bouquet.

"Who'd expect that I'd be next," Yoojung said, nodding at the bouquet.  "especially since you and Lucy have been together longer than Sei and Jiwon and haven't gotten married yet."

"She says she'll be ready when she's ready, and anyway there's no rush," Suyeon said.  "It just means there's a wonderful surprise heading your way."

Laughing, Yoojung shook her head.  "No, I'll be the last of us to get married.  I don't know that I'll ever find anyone." 

"You will," Suyeon said, "when you least expect it."

Yoojung shook her head again.  "I never expect it."

"Then it could happen at any time," Suyeon said.  "Don't underestimate the power of the bouquet."

 

THE END


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